


everything you and I have got (it takes so long to find)

by reddieforlove



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, seriously, this is so smutty and angsty and emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 09:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13901232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddieforlove/pseuds/reddieforlove
Summary: Eddie is in college and wants to pay off his student loan debt before it overwhelms him. He decides to do a few porn films, knowing his friend does it at a safe studio, and gets paired with Richie the first day.They have no idea how much it'll change everything.





	everything you and I have got (it takes so long to find)

**Author's Note:**

> I've been teasing this fic on my tumblr for a really long time (three days) and it's finally here. I hope it's not a disappointment. It's taken a lot out of me to write and I'm really really proud of it. I hope that all of you like it!
> 
> Fic Title: Why We Try - Matthew Mayfield ft. Chelsea Lankes
> 
> BIG inspiration song for the last scene: Like I'm Gonna Lose You - Jasmine Thompson.

Eddie couldn’t quite believe that he was willingly in a place like this, clutching a folder full of neat papers in his hands as he sat in a waiting room. He didn’t think that places like this would have a waiting room but apparently he was wrong. It was even tastefully decorated. The building was smaller than Eddie expected. But that might have just been an overactive imagination getting the best of him. The same imagination that was currently whirling with possibilities.

“Mr. Kaspbrak?”

A receptionist’s voice tore him from his thoughts and Eddie was grateful for it.

“Yes?” he said, wondering with a twisting stomach if it was time already.

“Do you have your papers?” she asked politely.

He nodded, standing slowly to cross the room. He handed over the papers that pronounced that he was clean as a whistle. Not that Eddie had any doubt but certain things were required when you were a…

“Hey Eddie!”

He turned with a sharp intake of breath in time to see Mike walking towards him with a warm smile on his face. He looked incredibly relaxed and part of Eddie wondered how he did it. Of course he’d been doing this for over a year and it had to be easier but still. Eddie has serious doubts about whether he’d be able to relax long enough to do this.

“Hi,” he said, shooting his friend a nervous smile.

Mike looked a little bit concerned as he pulled Eddie into a hug and clapped him lightly on the back. He’d been surprised into silence when Eddie first asked him about doing this. He didn’t discourage Eddie, though he laid out the facts without hesitation or sugar coating. Eddie appreciated that. It was exactly what he needed to come to the right decision.

Only he was seriously questioning that decision right now.

“Everyone is nervous for their first shoot,” Mike assured Eddie as he pulled away from the hug. “Mind if I take him back, Evie?”

The receptionist shook her head with a smile and a wave.

“You know you got the run of this place, Michael,” she said, looking utterly charmed by him.

But then again, most people were. Eddie wondered what it was like to partner up with him in a shoot. He dismissed the idea outright when Mike suggested it, thinking it might make Eddie more comfortable. They’d been friends since middle school and there wasn’t a single thing they didn’t tell each other. But Eddie wasn’t willing to mess with their friendship like this.

“How are you feeling?” Mike asked as he led Eddie back through a door and into a long hallway.

Eddie recognized this part. It was where he came to interview with the owner of the company who also happened to be the main director. Bill Denbrough was nothing that Eddie expected because in his mind, all he could see was a sleazy guy with greased up hair, foul breath, and wandering hands. Bill was none of those things. He was kind and somehow managed to put Eddie at ease during the one on one interview. He was young too. Not as young as Eddie, who just passed his twenty-first birthday, but undoubtedly under thirty. As much as Eddie wanted to ask how and why Bill was in this business, he kept the question to himself.

The last thing that he wanted to do was offend anyone. It felt like a taboo question but also like it would show just how much of an inexperienced outsider he was merely by voicing his curiosity. Eddie had his own reasons, of course, and didn’t hesitate to tell Bill when he asked. Student debt was a bitch and Eddie didn’t want it hanging over his head for the next ten to fifteen years. It was a drastic measure to be sure, and one that would certainly send Sonia Kaspbrak to an early grave if she knew, but Eddie didn’t care about any of that.

But Eddie was ready to seize control of his life after a childhood filled with sheltering and utter lack of control on his end. It may have been incredibly predictable, a guy with mommy issues doing something like this, but it wasn’t about the sex. In fact, Eddie preferred not to think about that aspect of it at all. His thoughts came to an abrupt halt when they walked through another door into another hallway that led them to the right. It had the same warm, neutral decorating scheme and the smell of cleaning products and a sweet fragrance mingled in the air but it felt different.

“These are the prep rooms. Dressing rooms. Whatever you want to call them,” Mike said, gesturing at the numbered doors as they passed. “Main actors have their own but there are common ones for the occasional actors. They’re cleaned every night.”

Eddie felt relieved, in that moment, to have Mike with him right now. Even if it was a little weird, he didn’t want to be alone at first.

“I’m not actually shooting today so you can use mine if you want,” Mike offered.

“You’re here even though you’re not shooting?” Eddie asked, frowning a little.

“Moral support,” he shrugged.

As nice as it was, Eddie couldn’t help but eye Mike warily.

“But you won’t be there, right?”

“Only if you want me to be,” Mike said, leading him to a door before hesitating to open it. “It’s whatever makes you more comfortable.”

He shook his head. There would be enough people watching him strip down and have sex with someone without his best friend being one of them. Before he could say anything, someone spoke from further down the hall.

“Holy shit!”

Eddie’s head turned and he watched as a girl around his age, maybe a little older, walked towards him. Her red hair fell around her shoulders in soft curls and her blue eyes shone brightly. She looked almost too flawless to be real, with a faded floral dress over dark tights and ankle boots and different styles of bracelets covering both wrists. There was awe in her eyes as she approached, her gaze fixed on Eddie alone.

“He’s beautiful,” she breathed out, lifting her hands as if she would touch him but they dropped when she reached them.

Eddie flushed at her words, ducking his head shyly.

“Can I play with him?”

His head snapped up again and he looked at Mike with wide eyes only to receive a laugh in return from his friend.

“She doesn’t mean what you think,” he said.

Eddie looked at the woman with uncertainty only to see that she was grinning.

“Makeup,” she said, gesturing to her own face that he could see was lightly made up with neutral tones all down to the clear gloss on her lips. “I like to experiment and you’d be the best canvas in this place.”

He blinked with surprise.

“I’ve never worn it,” Eddie admitted.

“That’s a shame,” she said, shaking her head with a click of her tongue.

He didn’t really know what to say to that.

“This is Bev,” Mike told him. “She’s another one of the mains.”

“Oh right! Beverly Marsh,” she stuck her hand out to shake his as she spoke.

“Eddie Kaspbrak,” he told her, slipping his hand into hers.

“Richie is going to love you,” she said.

“Is that who I’m-”

Eddie was cut off by the sound of yet another person calling out his name. This one he did recognize. Bill looked just as laid back and calm as he did that first day, walking up to Eddie with a reassuring smile on his face that put him at ease once more.

“I’m glad you made it,” Bill said, clasping his shoulder.

“I was just telling him about Richie,” Beverly said with the slightest bit of amusement in her eyes. “I can see why you put them together.”

Eddie felt like there was some undercurrent to her words that he didn’t understand and it made his stomach twist with nerves yet again. All that he could hope was that this Richie would be a good partner. Eddie didn’t know how he would survive it if he was paired with someone he didn’t get along with. Then again, it was all acting. Perhaps he’d be expected to get along with whoever they put him in a bed with. He honestly didn’t know how it worked outside of the simple process Bill explained to him back at the interview.

“He’s a lot to deal with at first but I think you’ll be perfect together,” Bill said, somehow sensing his thoughts.

“Okay,” Eddie said quietly.

“I was gonna set him up in my room since I don’t need it,” Mike said to Bill. “Anything you need him to do before?”

Bill thought about it for a moment, looking Eddie up and down before shaking his head.

“I’ll have an assistant come get you when we’re ready. In the meantime, drink some water, do some breathing exercises, and try to relax,” he told Eddie, staring into his eyes the whole time. “Nothing will happen today that isn’t completely within your comfort zone.”

Eddie fought back the hysterical laugh that rose in his throat, pressing his lips together and nodding. Little did Bill know that he’d left his comfort zone back in the damn parking lot. Now he was just trying to push through, hoping that the money he earned would make it worth all the discomfort. Bill started to turn away, beckoning for Bev to walk with him. But she didn’t move right away.

“I’ll do your makeup next time, if you want,” she said.

“I only signed on for one shoot,” Eddie told her.

“Yeah I know.”

He wasn’t sure what to make of her words so Eddie simply gave her a slight smile before turning back to Mike.

“You look like you’re ready to pass out or puke,” his friend informed him once Bill and Beverly were gone.

“I think I need some of that water,” Eddie said.

A few minutes later, he was curled on a couch in Mike’s dressing room. He sat with his knees pulled to his chest, sipping at a bottle of water as Mike turned on calming music to play out of a set of speakers on a small table. Eddie let his head fall back against the cushions behind him, closing his eyes as he tried to focus on anything but what was about to happen.

“What if I freak out?” he asked quietly.

“Bill will stop the whole thing,” Mike told him with confidence. “This isn’t like other places. He puts our needs above anything else. There are studios that care more about the money than the actors. That’s most of them, actually. But Bill isn’t like that, okay? It’s not just because he can afford to give a shit about us, but because he really wants this to be a different kind of place. Sex isn’t just a business here. Every single film is a celebration of pleasure and unity that comes from being with someone else in the most intimate of ways. That’s why this studio even exists.”

Eddie let the words sink in, feeling incredibly reassured by what Mike was saying.

“Why do it so differently? Isn’t making money the end goal?” he asked.

“People are always going to pay to see other people having sex. There’s no question of it,” Mike explained, leaning forward in his chair with his elbows braced on his knees. “Place your standards and the comfort of your actors above everything else and it comes out in the quality of the films. There are people who will pay more money to watch better porn. Bill takes advantage of that.”

“He makes me feel better about doing this,” Eddie admitted.

Mike smiled and nodded but before he could say another word, there was a light knock on the door. Eddie looked towards it with wide eyes, his heart skipping a beat.

“Hey, remember what I said,” Mike told him, standing up to hold a hand out to Eddie. “Say the word and it ends. But I promise you that everyone out there will take care of you.”

Eddie nodded and pulled Mike into a quick hug, squeezing him once before stepping away.

“Thank you,” he said.

“Anytime.”

Eddie crossed to the door, setting the bottle of water down before opening it with as much confidence as he could muster. A young man dressed in casual clothes with a headset gave him a smile before beckoning him out into the hall.

“You’re Eddie, right?” he asked.

“That’s me,” Eddie said, twisting his hands nervously in his shirt as the followed the assistant down the hall towards another door.

“It’ll be simple to start with. The set is a bedroom. We have to test the lighting before anything else so you can keep your clothes on until it’s time. You’re not doing anything scripted so Bill will want you to make it as natural as possible. It’ll be pretty easy with Richie. He’s a great partner for a first-timer.”

Eddie barely heard what the guy was saying, a strange buzzing in his ears making him feel like he was on edge in spite of all of Mike’s reassurances. Because at the end of the day, he was still going to fuck a guy in front of a bunch of cameras. They stepped into a large open space that had several different curtains pulled up around what Eddie assumed were other sets. There were more people scattered here and Eddie was incredibly grateful when they didn’t spare him a single glance as the assistant led him through the sectioned off areas to the opposite corner, where there was indeed a fully furnished bedroom set with nothing but white cotton sheets already disheveled on the bed. He sincerely hoped that it was an artistic choice and that they were clean. Bill was standing close to the bed with another man, pointing at a light that hung over the room.

“... too damn bright. I want the entire atmosphere to be soft. You’ll understand when you see… Eddie!”

He turned fully towards Eddie when he saw him approaching.

“What do you think?” Bill asked.

There was interest and concern in his eyes, like he wanted Eddie to give his honest opinion.

“It’s nice,” Eddie said, his eyes fixed on the bed. “Simple.”

“Simple is best, sometimes. Richie should be here any minute. He’s always fucking late,” Bill rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “You mind sitting on the bed so we can set up some lighting in the meantime?”

He nodded, moving over to the bed to sit on the edge. Eddie wasn’t sure what to do with himself so he settled with crossing his ankles and folding his hands neatly in his lap while remaining as still as possible.

“You’re right,” he heard the lighting supervisor murmur to Bill as he eyed Eddie. “Soft is better.”

Eddie let himself watch the activity around him, finding that it helped pull him out of his head as he saw people set up everything in preparation. When someone passed by and set a plain white bottle and a condom on the nightstand, Eddie’s heart jumped and he swallowed hard, forcing himself not to stare at it. It was easy enough when he heard the sound of someone’s voice carrying over even though he couldn’t see who it was. Laughter reached Eddie’s ears and he turned his head to find the source just in time to see who it belonged to.

The man was tall, with long, unruly dark hair and a bright smile on his face as he walked towards the set. The same assistant that walked with Eddie was laughing at whatever he said but Eddie didn’t even pay attention to the other man. All he could focus on was the new face. He was striking in a way that Eddie couldn’t quite explain, with high cheekbones and full lips. The simplicity of his outfit, dark jeans and a grey henley with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, only served to make him look even better.

All in all, he was incredibly attractive and Eddie found himself torn between deep desire to climb him like a tree and a desperate need for this _not_ to be the person he was paired with simply because next to this man, he couldn’t possibly measure up. Eddie was short and nervous and average, in his own eyes, while this man had an easy charisma to him and every eye in the room seemed to turn his way as he drew closer and closer. Eddie felt his mouth go dry and his heart pick up pace as he felt the sudden ridiculous need to hide.

This was a very, very bad idea.

“Billiam!”

The man’s voice carried, echoing through the room as he approached the director and clapped him soundly on the back.

“Just the man that I was looking for. Tell me, where is your better half? I have a bone to pick with ‘ol Stan the Man.”

“You have a film to shoot, Richie.”

Eddie swallowed hard at Bill’s dry response. Mostly because he did, in fact, identify this newcomer as the very person he would be filming with.

“And where the fuck is the lucky…”

Richie trailed off as his eyes settled on Eddie where he sat. He stared for a long moment as Eddie did his best not to make eye contact, looking Bill’s way only to see the director glancing back and forth between Richie and Eddie with amusement in his eyes. Clearly this was something he expected.

“Holy fucking shit,” Richie said, bracing a hand on Bill’s shoulder.

Eddie couldn’t help but look at him, his cheeks warming as he saw Richie’s dark eyes move over him from head to toe and back incredibly slowly.

“Where the hell did you find this guy?” Richie asked.

It made Eddie feel a little bit annoyed, to be talked about so bluntly when he was sitting right there. He narrowed his eyes just a little but Richie didn’t seem to get the hint, a slow smile spreading across his lips as he stared back at Eddie unflinchingly.

“He’s a friend of Mike’s,” Bill said, turning away to talk to someone else.

That left Richie with one person to talk to. He sauntered over to Eddie confidently, taking him by complete surprise by squatting down in front of him instead of sitting on the bed as well.

“You’re goddamn adorable, you know that?”

Eddie had no idea what to say to that. But Richie opened his mouth to say something else before he had to come up with a response.

“It’s my honor to pop your cherry.”

“I’m not a virgin,” Eddie said, glaring down at him.

“You’re as green as they come, cutie,” Richie said, patting his knee with a warm hand.

Eddie hated to admit that he was already so on edge that the simple touch made shivers run down his spine.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you don’t regret a single moment.”

Richie punctuated his words with a wink that made Eddie feel warm all over. He simultaneously wanted to knock Richie back on his ass and kiss him senseless. He didn’t know why, but Eddie had the feeling that the other man made a lot of people feel that way. Then Richie was straightening up and Eddie tilted his head back to look up at him. Instead of stepping away like he expected, Richie lifted a hand and brushed his thumb over Eddie’s cheek.

“Fuck,” Richie said quietly, shaking his head. “I thought you were the lucky one but I honestly think I got the better end of this deal here. I could probably get off just looking in those eyes.”

Eddie should have felt disgusted at Richie’s words. He should have been pulling away from his touch with a scowl. Instead he simply stared up at Richie as that soft touch left tingles in its wake. Richie’s thumb stroked over his bottom lip and Eddie let his mouth part just barely. It wasn’t much but he could have sworn that he saw a spark of lust in Richie’s eyes.

“Are you always this vulgar?” Eddie asked, his words quiet enough so that only Richie could hear.

Richie let out a laugh as he dropped his hand back to his side.

“You won’t mind this trash mouth so much when it’s on your cock, babe,” he promised.

Then Richie was finally dropping onto the bed before Eddie could react with more than a slight sputter, laying out on his back with his hands folded behind his head and his legs splayed lazily over the mattress. The toe of his scuffed and worn boot almost touched Eddie’s hip and he fought the urge to shift away, not wanting any dirt from Richie’s shoe to get on his very clean clothes.

“Eddie,” he said, looking over his shoulder.

Richie quirked an eyebrow in question, not even bothering to cover the fact that he was still staring shamelessly.

“My name,” Eddie clarified, twisting a little more to face him. “Eddie.”

“Nice to meet ya, Eds.”

The frustration was definitely outweighing the attraction at this point.

“I said Eddie. Are you deaf?” he muttered.

“Yep,” Richie said, popping the p. “In my right ear.”

Eddie’s eyes widened and he felt a cold strike of guilt in his chest.

“Shit. I-I’m…”

He didn’t really know how to apologize, or even if he should since it’s something he couldn’t have possibly known. Then Richie’s eyes crinkled at the corners and he burst into laughter, making Eddie feel like a fool for being so gullible.

“You’re such a-”

He cut off at the sight of movement in his peripheral as Bill walked up to the bed.

“Is Richie bothering you already?” he sighed, taking in Eddie’s flushed cheeks and his hands now curled into fists in his lap.

“Obviously,” Richie answered for Eddie. “What do you need from us, boss man?”

Bill waved a dismissive hand Richie’s way before focusing on Eddie again.

“We have to set you two up in different positions to work on the lighting. Richie’ll talk you through it.”

Eddie wanted to refuse more than anything but he didn’t want to be a nuisance either. So he simply nodded as professionally as he could and slowly released his hands from the tight fists.

“Whatever you need,” he said to Bill, forcing a pleasant smile onto his face.

“Thanks Eddie.”

Bill shot Richie a look that told him to behave, something that probably had zero actual effectiveness. Once he walked away, Eddie begrudgingly turned his head towards Richie only to see that he hadn’t moved at all.

“I got a place right here for you, gorgeous,” he said, patting his thigh.

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat and he felt a tug of warmth in his lower belly that he ignored as he slowly turned around on the bed. Richie’s eyes widened just a little as he crawled over, lifting himself onto his knees before slowly straddling his lap.

“Right here?” Eddie asked innocently, knowing that two could play at that game.

He brushed his fingers over Richie’s abdomen, the soft fabric of his shirt teasing at his fingertips as Eddie shifted around a little to make himself comfortable.

“Yeah, that’s good,” Richie said with a nod, sounding just a little bit strained.

Eddie settled in place, glancing over his shoulder to get Bill’s nod of approval as well. Then he took the chance to look down at Richie, letting his eyes linger on the smattering of freckles over his cheeks as well as the smallest indent on his nose.

“You wear glasses,” he said without thinking.

Richie blinked once before answering.

“How’d you know?” he asked.

“I can see the marks from the nosepiece,” Eddie said with a shrug. “You have to wear contacts during a shoot?”

“It makes it easier than constantly pushing my glasses back up when I’m balls deep in someone,” Richie said with a shrug.

“Charming,” Eddie told him with a roll of his eyes.

“I got no filter, Eds. You’ll get used to it.”

Eddie shook his head but before he could say anything, Richie’s hand rose and settled on his thigh. Eddie jolted a little, looking at him with slightly wider eyes.

“It’s better to get used to it now,” Richie said, rubbing his thumb in circles that Eddie felt even through his pants. “Not gonna be easy if you’re too jittery.”

“It’s not gonna be easy period,” Eddie said bluntly.

Richie smirked up at him, continuing that gentle touch over his thigh that was strangely calming.

“You underestimate me, Eds. Say the word and I’ll make you forget your own name while you’re screaming mine.”

“Someone’s a little too full of himself,” Eddie said, lifting his hand to pinch his finger and thumb together to show just how little he meant.

“Oh give it time and you’ll be full of me too,” Richie said.

Eddie couldn’t help it. A giggle bubbled up and spilled from his lips.

“That’s terrible,” he said through his laughter, shaking his head.

Richie’s smirk turned to a grin and he stared up at Eddie with a strange shine in his eyes, like he was admiring a piece of art instead of just looking at Eddie. He sat up slowly, drawing closer to Eddie until their faces were mere inches apart. Eddie’s laughter faded and he took a deep breath as Richie stared into his eyes, tilting his head to the side a little. Then he leaned in slowly, giving Eddie every chance to pull away before brushing a kiss over his lips. Then another and another.

Eddie didn’t know how but with each kiss, the tension bled slowly from his body until he was leaning into Richie, his hands curling over his shoulders as he kissed him back. Richie parted his lips as his hand slid up Eddie’s thigh to take hold of his hip. Eddie gasped a little when Richie stroked his tongue over his lower lip and desire curled in his lower belly. Then Richie broke away and left Eddie with a trembling body for an entirely different reason. It was no longer nerves that made his heart beat quickly.

His eyes fluttered open only to see Richie looking at something over his shoulder. It was easy to forget that they were being watched in for just a few moments. Eddie barely had time to take in a breath before Richie was flipping them over, pressing Eddie back into the mattress before settling in the cradle of his hips. Eddie wrapped his legs around Richie without thinking, mostly out of surprise at the sudden change in position. He gripped at Richie’s shoulders tightly, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Bill likes to give nonverbal direction,” Richie explained, skimming his lips over Eddie’s cheek. “You’ll learn.”

“I only signed on for one shoot,” Eddie said for the second time that day, feeling breathless as Richie kissed down to his jaw.

“Mm-hm,” Richie murmured.

He didn’t sound too bothered. Eddie opened his mouth to say something else but the words died on his lips when Richie pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot just behind his ear, rocking his hips as he did so. A strangled moan fell from Eddie’s lips and Richie swore, his hot breath washing over Eddie’s already sensitive skin. He shivered and curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt just to have something to hold onto.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Eddie convinced himself that he’d close his eyes and pretend he was somewhere else. Instead all he wanted to do was lose himself in this man that, by all rights, should have made him want to run the other way. Richie started to pull away and Eddie very nearly told him not to stop. Then he heard what must have pulled Richie out of the moment, turning his head to the side to meet the eyes of a very unfazed assistant.

“Everyone is going to go away for a while so you can get prepped.”

Eddie nodded, feeling a little bit odd talking to someone with Richie still hovering over him.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice a little rougher than usual.

Eddie bit down on his lower lip as the assistant walked away but before he could peek at Richie, the other man was stroking his thumb over Eddie’s collarbone lightly.

“You want help?”

Eddie’s eyes snapped up to him.

“You think I’ve never done this before?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, hating that his voice still a little shaky.

Richie shrugged, lowering himself down again.

“Just sayin,” he said, letting his breath fan over Eddie’s throat again. “It’s easier with someone else. I might find a few spots you just can’t reach.”

Eddie bit back a whimper when Richie pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss to his throat before nipping at his pulse point.

“O-okay,” he gasped out.

Richie let out a hum, pulling away to press a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips before sitting up. Eddie pushed himself up as well, trying to pull himself out of the haze that settled over his mind. The assistant told him that Richie was good for first-timers. This was probably just how he treated them all, to help them get comfortable. Eddie didn’t bother thinking that he was anything special. So he turned away and tugged his shirt over his head, dropping it to the ground before standing up to unfasten his pants as he kicked his shoes off. Eddie was already half hard just from kissing. He barely kicked his pants away before Richie was sitting on the edge of the bed and tugging him to stand between his legs.

“Take your time,” he said, stroking his hand up Eddie’s side as he brushed a kiss over his ribs. “No one’s in any hurry.”

Eddie didn’t really know what to do with his hands so he settled them on Richie’s shoulders again, feeling incredibly vulnerable with nothing but briefs on while Richie was still fully dressed.

“They’re coming back,” he said.

“Don’t pay attention to them,” Richie said, taking Eddie’s hand to guide him onto the bed. “You can’t think about the cameras or the people. It’s not about any of that.”

He pressed Eddie gently to his back.

“What’s it about?” Eddie asked, wondering how this was the same person of ten minutes ago.

“You,” Richie said, tugging his briefs down over his hips. “And me.”

He let the last of Eddie’s clothes fall to the ground before sitting back on his knees, staring down at him with a hot gaze that had Eddie’s flush spreading not only to his cheeks but his throat and chest too.

“I guess it stops bothering you after a while,” Eddie said, turning his head away shyly.

“You don’t get it,” Richie said with a shake of his head, brushing a thumb over Eddie’s hip. “I don’t give a shit cause I’m not ashamed. At the end of the day, it’s all pleasure. Yours, mine, theirs. It’s part of being human. Why is that shameful?”

Eddie took a shaky breath just before Richie bent down to kiss him firmly. Without pulling away, Richie grabbed the lube from the nightstand and popped it open. The sound made Eddie jump a little and pull away from the kiss. He watched as Richie poured the lube on his fingers before Eddie pushed him away so that he could turn over onto his hands and knees.

“Better like this, I think,” Eddie said, pressing his elbows into the bed so his ass was pushed up into the air.

“Fuck,” Richie groaned.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile a little at that, knowing that Richie was seeing his smooth ass and cock since he’d shaved carefully that morning. Then his smile dropped as Richie pressed one slick finger over his hole, rubbing at it slowly as Eddie moaned and pushed back against the finger.

“Feels good already, baby?” Richie said, sounding more affected than Eddie expected. “You’re so sensitive, aren’t you? You like me teasing your tight little hole?”

The words shot heat straight to Eddie’s groin as he felt his body getting more and more turned on. Richie knew just how to tease him somehow, stroking at his rim before pressing his finger in just a little bit and then pulling out. He repeated the process again and again, pushing his finger just a little further in each time. Once he was buried to the last knuckle, Richie began stroking in and out at a slow pace as Eddie moaned and whimpered into the mattress. A shuddering whine slipped from his lips as Richie teased a second finger alongside the first, letting him get used to the stretch as slowly as he could.

“You make the prettiest sounds, you know that?” Richie said in a low, husky voice. “Think I should make you come like this? Just with my fingers? Get you nice and relaxed before the real fun begins?”

Eddie couldn’t find the words to answer. He wasn’t sure that Bill or anyone else would be happy if he came so early. But Richie seemed like the type of person to do what he wanted and Eddie hardly wanted to stop him right now. Not when it felt so good. Richie thrusted his fingers in and out, scissoring and stroking and searching for that sweet spot that would make Eddie see stars. A broken cry fell from his lips when Richie curled his fingers and just barely brushed his prostate.

“There you are,” Richie murmured, rubbing at the spot in slow circles as Eddie jerked and thrusted back into his hand, shocks of pleasure running through his body and centering on the tight coil forming in his belly. “You wanna come, baby boy?”

Eddie moaned incoherently as he pushed in a third finger. The feeling was almost too much in the best way. It was addicting, how Richie seemed to know exactly how to touch him, how quickly to thrust his fingers in and out, how to make Eddie burn for more. He lost all sense or care for where he was or what was going on. All Eddie knew was that he wanted more of this feeling. He wanted everything.

“Please please please,” he chanted, pushing his hips back into Richie’s hand.

Just as soon as he spoke, those fingers disappeared and Eddie cursed aloud, curling his fingers into the sheets beneath him as his hips sank down to the bed. His sensitive cock was trapped between him and the mattress and it was unbelievably tempting to rut into it and make himself come. But then Richie was turning him over gently and stroking his hair out of his face.

“It’s time,” he said.

Eddie didn’t even notice that the others had come back. They were all busy with their own jobs, barely paying them any mind. For them, this was just another day at the office. The camera might have even been running for all Eddie knew.

“What do I do?” he asked, needing some direction in that moment.

“Whatever the fuck you want, babe.”

He looked up at Richie to see that his eyes were blown with lust and he was looking a little hot himself.

“Can I go down on you before you fuck me?” Eddie asked.

He had no idea where that came from. All he knew was that he wouldn’t mind having his mouth on Richie’s cock right now. A look of desperate want passed through Richie’s eyes and he nodded, brushing a thumb over Eddie’s cheek.

“No way I’ll ever say no to that,” he said with a wink.

Then he was standing up and Eddie was lowering himself to his knees, focusing only on undoing Richie’s pants. Once they were off, along with his shirt, Eddie didn’t hesitate to lean forward and mouth at Richie’s erection through his boxers.

“Shit,” Richie groaned, weaving his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “You’re gonna fucking kill me, baby boy.”

Eddie stroked him through the thin fabric for a few moments before tugging them off, letting them fall to the ground with the rest of their clothes. Richie’s cock was already leaking when Eddie wrapped his hand around the base, guiding his mouth to the tip. He licked over the slit slowly and lightly, barely tasting as Richie let out another curse. The salty taste was nothing to Eddie, who had always loved sucking his partners off because it made him feel good to make other people feel good.

He lifted his eyes to Richie’s face, taking in his slack-jaw and flushed cheeks as he stroked his tongue over the underside of his cock, teasing at the vein there before wrapping his lips around the tip. It wasn’t easy to watch him after that. Eddie contented himself with taking as much of him in his mouth as was comfortable before using his hand to make up the rest. He moved slowly, letting Richie feel every inch of his cock that slid into his warm, wet mouth before pulling away.

“Fuck...baby...so...so fucking good...look at you…”

Eddie heard the sound of people shifting around him beneath Richie’s low, endless praise intermixed with cursing. He tried not to pay attention to any of the activity, focusing only on the task at hand. It wasn’t until Richie stroked a thumb over his jaw and pulled away that he stopped. As tempting as it was to reach down and give some relief to his aching cock, Eddie chose to tilt his head back and look up at Richie instead, licking his lips slowly. Richie’s eyes followed the motion and he shook his head before tugging Eddie to his feet. Then he pulled him in for a deep kiss, walking them back towards the bed as he ran his hands over every inch of Eddie he could find.

Before he could touch a single part of Richie, his back hit the mattress and Eddie let out a little gasp, tilting his head back when Richie’s mouth went to his neck, kissing, nipping, and sucking at the skin there as he thrusted his cock against Eddie’s. They both moaned out at the friction, grinding and rocking together as Richie sucked a mark into the side of Eddie’s neck. When it became too much, Richie pushed up onto his hands that were braced on the mattress and gazed down at Eddie as he hovered over him, a questioning look in his eyes beneath all the heat and lust. He was checking in. Eddie turned his head, intending on whispering something without facing the camera.

That was when he saw them.

Little healed scars that spotted the inside of Richie’s arm. There had to be at least six or seven, each of them the same size and shape. Small circles that could only come from one thing. Eddie couldn’t look away for a long few moments. Then he finally turned his face towards Richie, who was staring down at him without hesitation. He looked more intense than before, his gaze making Eddie feel simultaneously hotter than ever while challenging him in some way.

He didn’t know what Richie wanted from him in that moment. So Eddie did the only thing that he could think of, lifted his hand slowly and stroked his thumb over Richie’s arm, brushing over the raised, mottled scars gently as he nodded up at him. Eddie didn’t say anything. He didn’t need to. It was clear now that he was ready for more. Richie pulled him in for a searing kiss as he sat up, bringing Eddie with him. Then he was turning him around, guiding Eddie to his knees before pressing his hands to grip at the headboard of the bed.

“Stay like that,” Richie whispered in Eddie’s ear, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his neck before pushing his knees apart and tugging his hips back.

Eddie could have moaned at the mere position, feeling exposed and turned on all at once. Richie pushed two fingers into him slowly, thrusting them in and out before adding three. Eddie knew he was making sure that he was ready and felt grateful for it, pressing back into his hand as much as he could without letting go of the headboard.

“What happens if I don’t?” he gasped out, somehow feeling like it was the right thing to say.

Richie’s fingers stilled inside of him for just a moment before pulling out. Eddie waited with bated breath and it was worth it because Richie’s hand smacked his ass just hard enough for it to sting. He cried out, heat rushing through him and taking him by surprise. Eddie never thought that would feel good but he was undeniably aroused by Richie spanking him.

“I think you know,” Richie said, a smirk in his voice as he stroked his thumb around and around Eddie’s rim teasingly. “You ready for me, baby? Ready for my thick cock to fuck your tight ass?”

“Please,” Eddie said in a quiet moan.

“Hmm?”

He gritted his teeth as Richie continued the light stroking around his hole.

“Please...please fuck me...I want your thick cock in my ass…I need you to fill me up...please!”

Eddie was only following Richie’s lead, trusting him and earning a murmur of approval in response. Richie uncapped the lube behind him after sliding on the condom, slicking himself up. Then his cock nudged at Eddie’s hole and he forced himself to relax, taking a deep breath and letting it out as Richie slowly pushed into him.

“Good,” Richie said, stilling for a moment to let him get used to the feeling.

Eddie shifted a little, his chest rising and falling quickly as he gripped the headboard tighter and tried not to see the camera pointed directly at him in his peripheral.

“Fuck me,” he whispered, tilting his head towards Richie.

Richie didn’t wait another second, pushing into him the rest of the way, inch by inch, until he bottomed out with a groan. Eddie felt undeniably full, his body shaking with adrenaline and arousal and anticipation. It was satisfying in a way that he could never describe, even more so when Richie pulled out and began thrusting into him with slow, deep strokes that had them both breathing hard and moaning in equal measure. He kept up the slow, frustrating pace until Eddie grew impatient, meeting his thrusts and fucking himself back onto Richie’s cock with a desperate need for more.

“You’re so damn needy,” Richie said, his hands falling to Eddie’s hips. “You want me to fuck you hard, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Eddie moaned out. “Fuck yes, I want it all.”

Richie held his hips just a little tighter, making Eddie shudder as he pulled almost all the way out. Then he snapped forward and pushed into Eddie in one smooth thrust. With a cry, Eddie tossed his head back as Richie began fucking into him a little faster and harder than before. Not so much that Eddie was in any sort of discomfort and pain. Everything else faded away and all he felt was lust and heat and pleasure sparking through him with each thrust of Richie’s hips.

Eddie wanted more than anything to reach down and stroke his throbbing cock but he settled with gripping the headboard even tighter, his knuckles turning white. Richie told him to hold on and he would. But then Richie shifted his hips and changed angles, his cock brushing over Eddie’s prostate when he pushed in again and making him sob out a curse at the feeling. With every thrust, Eddie let out a whimpering noise that made Richie groan and fuck him harder and faster.

“I’m gonna…I’m gonna…” Eddie felt the coil growing tighter and tighter and thought for a moment that Richie would actually make him come untouched.

But then he was pulling out and leaving Eddie a gasping mess. He slumped forward, pressing his forehead to the cool wood of the headboard as he breathed in and out slowly. He felt achingly empty at the loss of Richie inside of him but shivered a little with the slightest smile tugging at his lips when Richie brushed a kiss over his shoulder.

“You’re doing so fucking good,” Richie said, tugging him back until he was lying on the mattress.

He pushed Eddie’s thighs apart, kissing him slowly and deeply as he pushed into him again. Eddie whimpered and shook, knowing that this was only the next stage in the marathon of filming this video. Richie took up slow, deep strokes again, bracing his hands on either side of Eddie’s head. Without really thinking, Eddie wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist, opening himself up more to his thrusts as Richie let out a noise of approval.

“Feels fucking… amazing,” Eddie said, his words coming out in quiet puffs. “You fill me up...so good...don’t stop…baby please...fuck me harder...want more...need you…”

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Richie cursed loudly, picking up the pace.

Eddie arched into him, digging his nails into the bed as he felt shocks of pleasure shoot straight to his dick.

“Touch me...please,” he begged, needing that one thing to fall apart.

“Not yet,” Richie said, his voice tight with the effort of not coming apart himself. “Wanna fuck you for a little while longer. You can hold on for me, right sweetheart?”

Eddie squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, pressing his palms over Richie’s heated skin. He wasn’t sure, as Richie chose that moment to aim right for his prostate like he knew exactly where it was, but Eddie could have sworn that his finger brushed the raised skin of another scar just beneath his shoulder blade. But then he was thrusting and writhing as his orgasm creeped up on him again only for Richie to pull out once more, making Eddie groan with actual frustration.

“Shh,” Richie said, brushing a kiss over Eddie’s forehead as he leaned back against the headboard, stretching his legs out as he pulled Eddie into his lap. “Gonna ride me now, baby boy. Think you can do that? Use my cock to make yourself feel good? You can come whenever you want, I promise.”

Eddie nodded, feeling pretty desperate with how many times he’d been edged off. He straddled Richie’s lap and reached down, positioning his cock at his entrance before sinking down quickly. Richie let out a sharp hiss and grasped at his hips but Eddie didn’t give him much time to adjust before he started rocking and bouncing, gripping at Richie’s shoulders to brace himself. He shamelessly chased his own orgasm but Richie was right there with him, meeting his rocking hips with thrusts that had both of them letting out grunts and moans.

Eddie reached between them after a few minutes, wrapping his hand around his cock. He didn’t hesitate to start jacking himself quickly, his movements becoming jerky and uneven the closer he got to coming. His mind started to blur on the edges and Eddie pressed his eyes closed, tilting his head back and letting his mouth fall open into a series of small “uh uh uh” noises as he felt his body growing hotter and hotter. Richie spread his legs a little and braced himself, finding a better position to thrust upwards until Eddie came with a hoarse shout, his come painting Richie’s stomach as he stroked himself through the orgasm.

Richie pulled him in for a kiss, this one more than all the others combined. It was desperate and passionate yet somehow it rocked Eddie to the core as he leaned forward, widening his legs to let Richie keep fucking up into his oversensitive body. Lifting his hands, he pushed them into Richie’s hair for the first time as they kissed and kissed, tugging lightly at the dark curls and earning a moan of utterly wrecked pleasure in return. Apparently that was all it took for Richie to come too, still thrusting into Eddie until every last bit of pleasure was wrung from his body.

Then he slumped back against the headboard and Eddie pulled away from the kiss, tucking his face into Richie’s neck with heavy breaths still rocking his body without care for the fact that they were both hot, sweaty, and sticky. Eddie paid no attention to the low murmurs behind them, feeling like he couldn’t move right now, much less care about anything else. He felt Richie’s hand lift and stroke at his spine slowly, with a gentle sweeping touch that made him relax more and more.

“Holy fucking shit,” Richie breathed out for the second time since Eddie met him.

Eddie swallowed hard and took a deep breath before slowly pushing himself up and off of Richie’s lap, wincing at the feeling of his softening cock pulling out.

“Is it like that with everyone?” he asked before he could help himself without even looking at the other man.

Eddie didn’t really know if he wanted to know the answer. But before he could go far, Richie was catching him with a one hand on his wrist and the other on his chin, gently tilting his face up. Richie stared held his gaze for a long few moments.

“No,” he finally said.

Eddie truly had no idea what to make of that.

*

It took a week for him to wind up back in that studio. A week of classes and grocery shopping and living life like normal while trying to pretend like the best sex of his life didn’t happen in a porn studio with a man he’d only ever met once. Eddie found himself back there, sitting on Mike’s couch with his legs folded beneath him as he watched his friend pull a shirt on over his head after a long afternoon of shooting. He kept telling himself that he was just there to pick up his paycheck, the amount of which had Eddie nearly falling to the ground, and to see Mike. Yet an hour had passed since he arrived and he still hadn’t left.

“You want to go to that diner by your campus for dinner?” MIke asked.

Eddie shrugged, feeling pretty neutral about it.

“I could go for a burger,” he said.

Before Mike could respond, they heard someone’s voice passing by. Eddie managed to recognize it as Beverly’s. Mike crossed the room quickly, pulling the door open.

“Hey Bev, you wanna go to dinner with us?”

Eddie’s head snapped up in surprise. He didn’t realize it would be more than just them.

“You know I’ll always go anywhere with you, Mike,” she said, a smile in her voice. “Who’s this us, though?”

She stepped closer and peered past Mike into the room, catching sight of Eddie. Beverly’s small smile bloomed into a fully blown grin as she looked him over.

“I think Richie’s available too,” she said.

Eddie’s eyes widened and she gave him a look that was both satisfied and strangely knowing.

“Great, I’ll go drag his ass out of his room so we can go,” Mike said, walking out into the hall.

Bev winked at Eddie as she stepped back too.

“You can thank me later,” she said, waving him off as if he actually said something. “He hasn’t been able to shut up about you. I’m doing the world a favor.”

Eddie took a deep breath when she disappeared from sight, standing up slowly without really knowing why. Mike came back just a minute or so later, looking satisfied.

“You don’t mind, right?” he asked.

Eddie shook his head.

“The more the merrier,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

He no sooner said the words than Richie leaned in the door as Mike gathered his things, those dark eyes falling on Eddie right away. He wore ripped jeans and a brightly colored shirt under a leather jacket. His hair was as wild as before and Eddie was finally seeing the glasses, black and thick-framed and somehow making Richie look even better. The other man grinned at him, leaning with one arm propped up on the doorway.

“Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie said, pronouncing every syllable dramatically.

“Do not fucking call me that,” Eddie said, annoyance laced in every word.

Richie only smiled wider, as if he was truly delighted by Eddie’s response. His eyes slowly traced every inch of Eddie, traveling down and back up his body. His skin grew warm and tingly and Eddie couldn’t help but lick his lips, drawing Richie’s eyes there without meaning to.

“Cute as a goddamn button,” Richie said, though there was an underlying tension in his voice that made it clear he thought Eddie was more than just cute.

Or maybe he was remembering and reliving every single moment of the last time they met, just like Eddie. Either way, the tension between them was palpable and Eddie found it hard not to cross the room and seize him for a kiss right then and there. This definitely wasn’t supposed to happen to him.

“Bev needs a ride,” Richie said, dragging his eyes away from Eddie to look at Mike, giving them both a moment of relief.

“I can fit her and Eddie,” Mike said.

“You don’t have a car?” Richie asked him.

Eddie shook his head.

“I don’t drive,” he admitted.

It wasn’t something that he was ashamed of. The idea of learning was always too stressful for him so he took Uber when he needed to and walked or cycled when he could.

“Well you can ride with me, cutie.”

Mike snorted, shaking his head.

“He won’t,” he said.

“I dunno, Michael. I think Eds here can be pretty adventurous when he wants,” Richie said with a smirk.

Eddie knew that part of their conversation was flying over his head but he didn’t really care.

“I’ll bet on that,” Mike said.

“Loser buys dinner for the winner,” Richie responded.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at the both of them.

“How about you both buy dinner for me?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest before realizing it was a terrible question to ask in present company.

“Oh baby,” Richie practically purred, taking an almost predatory step towards him. “If you want me to take you on a date, all you gotta do is ask.”

“You know I can make you lose this bet, right?” Eddie said.

“You could,” he agreed with a nod. “But you won’t.”

Richie sounded so confident that it was starting to drive Eddie just a little bit crazy that he didn’t know what was going on. Before he could say another word, Bev appeared in the door and asked if they were ready.

“Thank you,” Mike huffed out, following her first. “I was gonna suffocate in there.”

Eddie knew he was making a joke at their expense and glared at his back when Richie stepped aside and let him walk out first.

“Are you just staring at my ass?” he asked, feeling Richie’s eyes on him as he walked ahead.

“It’s a fucking fantastic ass, Eds. Can’t blame me for looking,” Richie said shamelessly.

Eddie didn’t bother to respond to that, simply rolling his eyes and letting it be as they walked out to the parking lot. Richie swept past him when he paused near the curb and Eddie watched as he strode a short distance before stopping beside the reason behind his and Mike’s bet. Eddie stared and stared, unable to quite wrap his mind around it. The rational part of him scoffed, dismissing Richie as an idiot for thinking that he would ever get near that death trap.

But the other, much bigger part of Eddie was undeniably curious. He wondered what it was like. Richie turned his head, meeting his gaze with a challenge in his eyes. Eddie didn’t really feel like he had much of a choice. Not with a feeling like a tether in his heart, pulling him closer to Richie. There was a pull between them that Eddie couldn’t deny. And he really wanted to know what it was like to ride a motorcycle. Turning his head to look at Mike, he shrugged apologetically before heading across the parking lot.

“How did you know I would ride it?” Eddie asked as he approached a smirking Richie.

“I know desire,” Richie said, handing a sleek black helmet over to him. “You’ve got this craving that you just can’t shake. That and I’m pretty sure you’d jump at any chance to prove someone wrong about you. So hearing even your friend doubt that you’d be willing to ride a motorcycle pretty much guarantees that you’re gonna do it.”

Eddie stared at Richie, wondering how he knew all of that. It was like he could see deep into Eddie’s soul, while Eddie barely felt like he could see much of Richie at all. Only what he let him see.

“I’m also looking forward to having those legs around me again,” Richie said with a wink.

Eddie scoffed and pulled the helmet over his head as Richie straddled the bike.

“Keep dreaming,” he said, climbing on behind Richie carefully.

“Oh I do,” Richie said, taking Eddie’s wrists gently in his to wrap them around his waist. “Every damn night.”

Eddie was glad the helmet hid his responding flush. He squeaked a little when Richie started up the motorcycle, earning a light laugh before he was told to hold on tight. He didn’t realize how fast his heart was beating until Richie pulled forward slowly and Eddie pressed close to him with a light gasp, needing to feel more secure.

“This is insane!”

He felt Richie’s laughter more than he heard it. Eddie fisted his hands in Richie’s shirt, figuring out how to ride simply by paying attention to what Richie did. Eddie started to lean with him into the turns and quickly realized that he should remain as still as possible otherwise. Richie made it all seem effortless. By the time they reached the diner, Eddie was feeling a rush deep in his bones that he certainly wouldn’t admit to. When he slid off the bike, his shaking knees made it hard to stand but Richie caught him when he staggered a little, his hands going to Eddie’s elbows to steady him.

“Don’t worry, cutie. People get weak-kneed around me all the time,” Richie said, smirking like always.

“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie huffed, though a smile tugged at his lips.

Richie didn’t look fazed whatsoever.

“What do you think?” he asked, helping Eddie pull the helmet from his head gently.

“It’s asking for death,” Eddie said with a shrug.

“You had fun,” Richie said with a smirk.

Eddie looked up warily, finding himself drawn into that dark gaze.

“Says who?” he challenged, lifting his chin a little.

Richie smirked down at him.

“You don’t have to say anything, cutie. I can see your soul.”

Mike and Bev pulled into the parking lot before Eddie could say anything in response to a smirking Richie, who walked ahead of Eddie only to open the door and beckon for him to cross through first. Eddie did just that, trying to regain his wits while wondering why and how Richie managed to throw him so off beat. When they all sat, Eddie wound up tucked into one side of the booth with Richie, clearly Bev and MIke’s doing judging by the twin looks of vague mischief on their faces. Clearly they had a lot to talk about on the drive over. Richie seemed utterly disinterested in their scheming, flipping through a menu without a care in the world.

“What’s your favorite kind of shake?” Richie asked.

“Chocolate,” Eddie answered, waiting patiently for the waitress to come over. “What’s yours?”

“It depends on how I feel. I think I’ll go with strawberry today.”

Eddie had no idea how he managed to make those simple words sound suggestive. Maybe it was the fact that he was looking at Eddie and his soft pink shirt with a strange glint in his eyes. Glancing at Richie out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the dark, pronounced circles beneath his eyes and frowned a little.

“You look tired,” Eddie said before he could call his words back.

Richie shrugged, grabbing a toothpick from a small bowl of them that sat on the edge of the table.

“What can I say, Eds?” he said, unwrapping the small sliver of wood to place it in the corner of his mouth. “Your mom’s an insatiable woman. She kept me up fucking all night long.”

Eddie scowled at Richie. So much for feeling sympathy for him for a moment. He might have been able to commiserate. Eddie had insomnia since he could remember. It came as no surprise that Richie covered with a horrible joke. Clearly there was something there he didn’t want to talk about. Yet all Eddie could think was that the seemingly harmless joke was the last thing that he wanted to hear. Not when his mom… Eddie didn’t let himself go down that path. He wouldn’t let her poison his mind more than she already had. But just because he let it go didn’t mean everyone else did.

“Beep beep, Richie,” Mike said, shaking his head a little in warning.

The wording confused Eddie but not the sentiment behind it. Mike understood him more than anyone else.

“It’s okay,” Eddie said quietly.

Richie watched the interaction between them quietly, letting the awkward moment linger in the air until the waitress came to take their order. Eddie wondered if it was just natural for Richie to flirt with everyone, considering he had her flushing and giggling by the time they were all finished, or if Richie was really interested in her. He chose to ignore the cold twist in his stomach at the thought of the latter. There was no way that Eddie was even going to acknowledge what it might be.

“So how’d you come across this fine place?” Richie asked, rapping his knuckles on the table to the beat of the music playing overhead.

“Eddie goes to college a few blocks over,” Mike answered.

“Really?” Richie’s eyes flitted to him. “Whatcha studying to be, Spaghetti Man?”

Eddie stared at him, wondering if a swift kick would make Richie reconsider the ridiculous nicknames.

“A psychologist,” he answered.

“What kind?” Beverly asked, sounding truly interested.

“Child,” Eddie said.

“Can you psychoanalyze me?” Richie asked.

He shook his head, turning away as the waitress brought them all Cokes and set them down.

“Let me know if you need anything else,” she said, the offer mostly directed to Richie.

“We certainly will, sweetheart,” Richie told her with a wink, spreading his arm over the back of the booth behind Eddie.

_“You can hold on for me, right sweetheart?”_

An oddly sour taste formed in Eddie’s mouth.

“Why won’t you psychoanalyze me?” Richie asked once she was gone.

“Because you don’t really want me to,” Eddie told him, lifting his head to meet his gaze fully.

Richie stared back, some sort of silent, strange moment of stubbornness passing between them.

“Seems like you did it anyway,” he finally said.

Eddie didn’t answer, shrugging it off. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Richie had some shit buried deep that he didn’t want anyone to touch. When he looked around, Bev was staring at them both with a little bit of worry in her eyes. Luckily Mike saved them all from the uncomfortable moment by launching into a story about his grandfather’s farm. Eddie, who had been there, smiled slightly and listened, realizing that place was the only thing he really missed about Derry.

As Mike told the story with warmth and charm, engaging them all, he felt the barest traces of Richie’s fingers stroking over the back of his neck. Eddie shivered a little but, much to his own surprise, did nothing to knock Richie’s hand away. Richie must have taken it as permission because then he was slipping his thumb just beneath the collar of Eddie’s shirt, rubbing at his shoulder in soft circles that had Eddie’s heart racing and his stomach fluttering as he sank his teeth into his lower ilp.

Just this simple touch made him feel warm and needy. Eddie had no idea how Richie affected him like this. There was no true reason for it. All he knew was that with every sweep of his thumb over his sensitive skin, Eddie had to fight back a shiver. He could have ended it all by leaning away from Richie or even telling him to stop but Eddie just let it continue, knowing he wanted it more than he was willing to admit. There was something invigorating and intoxicating about the feeling. About Richie.

Eddie couldn’t get enough.

By the time they got their shakes and food, Eddie was glad for the distraction of eating. But Richie didn’t even pull his hand away. He stopped with the stroking circles but kept his fingers brushing over Eddie’s shoulder as he ate with his other hand. Eddie dug into his burger and fries, eager for the distraction that helped him not focus quite so much on Richie. When he lifted his milkshake to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the straw, he sensed Richie’s eyes on him and felt his cheeks grow warm without true reason.

Somehow, Eddie just knew he was thinking about the last time they were this close. Only it wasn’t a straw that Eddie had his lips around. He swallowed hard, licking at his lips when a little bit of chocolate from the straw dripped there as he pulled it out of his mouth. Richie started playing with the curling ends of Eddie’s hair distractedly as he popped fries in his mouth, keeping his eyes on Eddie every single time he picked up his cup. If he was trying to tease him, that would be one thing. But Eddie was just trying to drink his damn chocolate milkshake.

“Stop staring,” he whispered.

“Make me,” Richie said back.

Eddie turned his head, staring him down for a moment. Richie was unflinching and unapologetic. It made Eddie feel raw and exposed in a way, like Richie knew he really didn’t mind all that much. When he turned back to listen to a story that Bev was telling, Richie leaned in just enough so that his lips could brush Eddie’s ear when he whispered.

“Come home with me.”

Eddie’s body gave a full shudder, aching need forming in his chest at his words. Yes, he wanted to go. That was undeniable. But he didn’t know if it was a good idea.

“Could you two be any more obvious?” Bev said with a laugh once she finished off her story.

Both Eddie and Richie blinked at her innocently. Eddie earned his innocence. Richie did not.

“Jealous, hon?” Richie asked, smirking at her.

“Never, babe,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

They spent the rest of the meal with banter passed back and forth. Eddie kept up with Bev and Richie both while Mike sat back and shook his head with a good-natured smile. Richie’s hand didn’t waver once from Eddie’s shoulder during all of it. As time passed, he found himself leaning just a little bit into Richie, unable to completely resist his gravitational pull. Richie responded by skimming his nose over Eddie’s temple distractedly, as if he wasn’t fully conscious of his actions. Eddie saw Mike across the table watching them, a knowing look in his eyes.

When they all finished and headed outside, it was Mike who held the door open for them. Eddie followed through with Richie close behind him, feeling a little jumpy. He knew that Richie would ask again. It was only a matter of time and he hardly seemed like the type to give up without an explicit no, which Eddie had yet to give. He still didn’t know what to say. Eddie knew what would happen if he went with Richie. Bev and Mike weren’t wrong about the tension. It was even more heightened between them at this point.

“You need a ride home?” Mike asked.

Eddie glanced at him before looking to Richie, who was bantering with Beverly. Yet there was something in his body language that told Eddie he was listening. His mind was made up before Eddie really knew, his mouth opening to say words that he didn’t really plan.

“Richie already offered,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about me.”

Mike nodded, looking as though he expected that.

“Just be careful, yeah?” he said.

“Of course,” Eddie said, grinning at  him. “Thanks for dinner, Mike.”

Mike made a show of rolling his eyes but hardly looked annoyed at all. Then he and Bev were turning towards his car, leaving Eddie with Richie again.

“Where to, cutie?” Richie asked, already swinging a leg over his motorcycle before patting the seat behind him.

Eddie took the helmet from him, settling on the back behind him before answering.

“Didn’t you say something about coming home with you?” he asked.

Richie didn’t look surprised, though Eddie could see the smile tugging at his lips just before he pulled the helmet on and wound his arms around Richie’s waist. They didn’t go far. Eddie was surprised that they actually didn’t live far from one another. Not that he commented on it. He simply held on and did his best to be as helpful as possible until they pulled into the parking lot of an apartment complex. Richie helped him off again but Eddie felt less shaky this time.

He didn’t argue when Richie wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leading him inside to take the elevator up to the fifth floor. Neither of them said a word until Richie unlocked the door with one hand, Eddie’s gaze fixed on his profile while he waited. Then they were stepping inside. The place was messy, to Eddie’s utter lack of surprise. He barely paid it any attention, feeling Richie slip his arms around him from behind as soon as the door was shut. They weren’t wasting any time then.

“We should talk,” Eddie breathed out when Richie pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.

“Later,” Richie mumbled, his hands falling to Eddie’s hips.

It was like he knew how much Eddie liked it when he held them firmly, rocking against his ass slowly. Eddie shook his head, knowing they should talk before anything.

“I wasn’t just at the studio to see Mike,” he said, turning slowly in Richie’s arms to look up at him. “I was talking to Bill about a new contract. I’m going to do a few more films.”

Richie smirked down at him, looking almost triumphant.

“I knew it,” he said, cupping Eddie’s ass in his hands without shame. “Just couldn’t get enough, huh?”

Eddie didn’t bother answering, letting out a sigh as he shook his head.

“I just mean that we’re pretty much coworkers now,” he said without stepping away from Richie. “Is this really a good idea?”

“It’s practice,” Richie said, backing Eddie up into a wall.

He bent down, pressing hot kisses over his throat one right after another. Eddie couldn’t help but tilt his head back, inhaling sharply when Richie’s knee pressed between his thighs, rubbing at his half-hard erection through his jeans.

“What if it makes it weird?” he managed to gasp out.

“We’re fucking either way, Eds,” Richie said, lifting his head to look in his eyes. “The first time wasn’t exactly my average experience.”

“It was more,” Eddie guessed, trying his best not to feel intimidated.

Richie nodded slowly.

“So… do you want to stop now?” he asked, looking at Eddie seriously for once.

Eddie bit down on his lower lip, shaking his head slowly.

“Thank fuck,” Richie sighed, tilting his head back a little towards the ceiling. “I’ve been thinking about this ass all fucking week.”

Before Eddie could say anything more, Richie’s mouth slanted over his and he was kissing him slowly and languidly, pulling every last bit of hesitance out of Eddie with every stroke of his tongue and nip of his teeth. It was all consuming, leaving Eddie feeling like a simmering fire burned just beneath his skin. All he wanted was more. The sunlight faded outside the windows, casting the room into shadows as they stood there kissing for a long time, neither breaking away until Richie began shuffling them towards the bedroom.

Eddie followed him willingly, letting himself be led until they were collapsing onto a mattress. Richie pulled Eddie on top of him without a second thought, his hands going to Eddie’s hips again. He delved underneath his shirt, brushing his fingers over heated skin as Eddie cupped his face in both hands and kissed him with fervor, straddling his hips as he rocked and grinded against him. It wasn’t nearly enough. Eddie needed more and he knew it. Sitting up, he stripped his shirt off over his head and Richie didn’t hesitate to begin exploring the exposed skin.

He flipped them over, pressing Eddie back into the mattress before he started covering his chest and abdomen in lingering, purposeful kisses, pulling gasps and moans from his mouth when he flicked his tongue over Eddie’s nipples and scraped his teeth over sensitive spots. Every shock of warmth and pleasure shot straight to Eddie’s cock, making it unbelievably hard in his jeans. He needed more relief. He needed more of Richie. He needed.

“Fuck,” Eddie moaned, tossing his head back onto the bed.

“God you’re beautiful,” Richie said, his voice low and thrilling as he skimmed his lips over Eddie’s stomach. “Like a fucking dream, aren’t you? All pretty and flushed.”

Before Eddie could say anything, Richie’s fingers were defly undoing his pants. He lifted his hips to help as Richie tugged them down, pulling his boxers off too.

“Not fair,” Eddie whined, gripping at Richie’s shirt.

“I’ll take it all off soon, baby. Don’t you worry about it,” he said with a wink.

Eddie barely considered pouting before Richie’s long fingers wrapped around his hard length. Thrusting upwards into his hand, Eddie wound his fingers into the blankets beneath him. All his mind could focus on was Richie. His lips on Eddie’s throat sucking a hickey into the skin there, his scent and touch invading Eddie’s senses, and his fingers on his cock making him shudder with every stroke.

“That’s it,” Richie encouraged softly, touching Eddie like he knew exactly what worked. “Fucking hell, Eds, you’re so hard for me. So good.”

Eddie whimpered low in his throat, moving his hips in time with Richie’s hand. No one had ever talked to him like this before Richie and he found that it drove him nearly to the edge. It didn’t stop there. Filthy words poured from Richie’s mouth almost endlessly, spurred on by the noises Eddie made in return.

“You like that, don’t you? Like me talking to you?”

All he could do was whimper, arching up in a desperately yet silent plea for more. That was when he felt it. Something warm and wet tracing over the tip of his dick. Eddie cursed loudly as Richie gave long, slow licks to every inch of him before taking him into his mouth. It was a losing battle not to thrust up and Richie knew it, holding Eddie’s hips as he bobbed up and down, using his tongue and lips to bring him to the brink. Even with his mouth otherwise occupied, he still didn’t shut up, humming and moaning the entire time, especially when Eddie delved his fingers into Richie’s hair and tugged.

“Richie… fuck I’m gonna… gonna come Rich-Richie,” Eddie breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut as he combed his fingers through the other man’s dark locks.

Richie only sped up, making Eddie cry out as the tight coil in his lower belly grew hotter and hotter. Then he was coming, Richie’s name a mantra on his lips as waves of pleasure ran through his body. Richie didn’t move until he was finished, withdrawing slowly as if to wring every drop of pleasure from Eddie’s boneless form. Then he was sitting back on his heels with a self-satisfied smirk as Eddie gazed up at him breathlessly.

“Fuck me,” Eddie said, winding his fingers into Richie’s shirt to tug him down for a kiss.

He couldn’t even bring himself to care where Richie’s mouth had been, kissing him desperately as he felt his body aching for more even though he just came.

“I want you in me, Richie,” he murmured into the kiss.

“Fuck,” Richie moaned, kissing him hard for just a moment before pulling away.

Then he was yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it away. As he twisted to pull lube and a condom out of his nightstand, Eddie’s eyes traced over him. His heart stuttered a little at the sight of the scar on Richie’s back that he felt when they were filming the movie. It was long and thin, tracing from his shoulder blade across his back diagonally. Eddie stared at it for a long moment until Richie turned back towards him. He tried to push away his pained sympathy, wondering how Richie could possible get a wound like that.

He all but forgot about it when Richie turned him onto his hands and knees, teasing at his hole with a slick finger in no time. He didn’t hesitate to tease Eddie even more than last time, practically making him sob out before he pushed a finger in up to the last knuckle. Richie worked him open slowly until he was shaking and moaning as he fucked himself back onto the three fingers buried in his ass. Eddie knew that Richie avoided his prostate on purpose, no matter how much he begged for more.

Once his cock was covered in a condom and slicked up, Richie didn’t bother changing his position before lining up and pushing into him slowly. He didn’t take it quite as slow as the last time, seating himself in fully before pausing to let Eddie get used to the stretch. He started fucking in and out slowly when Eddie gave him a nod, digging his fingers into the mattress as Richie’s strokes sped up and he shifted the angle of his hips. It didn’t take them long to get to a hard and fast pace, Eddie whimpering and crying out with every brush of Richie’s cock over his prostate as pure filth poured from Richie’s mouth.

“It feels so good, baby boy. So fucking good around my cock. I could do this every goddamn day, you know that? I’d never get tired of it. Every. Damn. Day.”

He punctuated his words with hard thrusts into Eddie, who shouted out Richie’s name hoarsely when he reached around and began stroking his cock. He was close. So close it was hard to breathe, much less speak. Eddie could only arch his back and meet Richie thrust for thrust until he came hard for a second time. Richie murmured out his approval, wiping his hand on the sheets before taking hold of Eddie’s hips to fuck into him at a quick pace. It was almost too much for Eddie, who trembled and whimpered at the overstimulation.

When Richie finally came with a low groan, Eddie slumped down to the bed and tried not to think about the come on the sheets, letting his spent body relax into the soft fabrics. Richie pulled out slowly, stroking a hand over Eddie’s side soothingly. Then he bent down and pressed a soft, lingering kiss over his spine before climbing off of the bed. Eddie didn’t move, even when Richie cleaned him up, only turning over when he returned and laid on the other side of the bed. Eddie curled into his side, laying his head over Richie’s chest.

He thought he might have done something wrong when Richie froze up a little but the other man relaxed after just a moment, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders to hold him close. They stayed like that for a long time, catching their breath and letting their bodies relax into a lazy, quiet state. Eddie was always touchy after sex, stroking over Richie’s abdomen and playing with his fingers. Then Eddie’s eyes caught on the scars on his arm again, lingering there as he kept his mouth sealed shut.

Richie stiffened just a little bit when he brushed his thumb over one of the scars. It wasn’t like before, when they were shooting the film. Eddie could tell that Richie was waiting for something, almost like he was ready to shield himself from some blow that wasn’t coming. Neither of them said anything for a long time. Eddie kept touching each scars softly, hoping that whatever painful memories that had to be attached to the scars weren’t fresh in Richie’s mind. He wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

“Aren’t you gonna ask?” Richie finally asked, unable to keep quiet for a second longer.

Eddie lifted up, meeting Richie’s gaze for a moment before shaking his head.

“I don’t need to know.”

Then he laced his fingers through Richie’s and pulled his arm up, pressing a kiss over each and every scar. He heard Richie’s breath hitch and, when he finished, Eddie glanced over only to see that Richie’s eyes were closed and his lower lip trembled just slightly. He didn’t open his eyes when Eddie lowered his arm back to the bed. It wasn’t until he laid his head back on Richie’s chest that the other man even spoke again.

“There’s something about you, Eddie,” he said, sounding deeply affected.

Eddie didn’t say anything for a long time, turning Richie’s words over in his head.

“There’s something about you too,” he said quietly.

They didn’t speak again, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

*

Eddie woke slowly with aching limbs and yet a deeply sated feeling present throughout his entire body. He could have laid there forever, his nose buried in a pillow that smelled so incredibly like Richie. But then he realized that there was no one in the bed beside him. He heard muffled music from outside the room as he slowly sat up, stretching out his sore body and slipping out from beneath the blankets. Eddie hunted for his boxers and pulled them on, not wanting to bother with his clothes just yet. Richie had already seen him naked twice. There was no point in being shy now.

When he ventured out after washing up in the bathroom, finding a packaged toothbrush there for him to use, Eddie took in more of the apartment than he did the night before. Soft sunlight poured through the windows, casting the whole room in a yellow glow. There were well used books and wrinkled papers strewn about the living room and posters from old movies and radio shows covering the walls. On a rickety table that looked like it could fall apart any second was a record player, much to Eddie’s surprise.

 _“Every time I try to walk away,”_ a voice crooned from the player. _“Something makes me turn around and stay. And I can’t tell you why.”_

It took Eddie a moment to realize that the voice on the record wasn’t the only one that he could hear. He followed the sound of Richie’s voice as it sang out a low, slightly hoarse version of the music playing. He was in the kitchen in nothing but a pair of low-slung pajama pants, his hair sloppily tied away from his face into a curly bun and his glasses slipping down his nose as he held a bowl of egg yolks in one hand and a whisk in the other. Even in the barest traces of sunlight, it was easier to see the scar on Richie’s back. It was as well healed as the cigarette burns. Yet it cut over his spine, meaning it had been far more dangerous.

 _“I get lonely too,”_ Richie sang, oblivious to Eddie’s presence in the doorway. _“You don’t have to worry, just hold on tight.”_

Tearing his eyes away from the scar, Eddie approached warily, unsure of the reception that he’d get. Did Richie expect him to slip out of the door without another word? He didn’t know how this situation worked, considering it was an incredibly strange one. Richie caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye as he whisked away at the eggs. He gave Eddie a wink without stopping his singing. It was all Eddie needed. He hopped up onto the counter close to where Richie stood but out of the way of his cooking, shivering a little when the cold surface touched his thighs.

Reaching out without thinking, he pushed Richie’s glasses up his nose for him, earning a small kiss to his wrist before he could pull his hand away. The spot where his lips touched tingled just a little bit. There was bacon and sausage both sizzling away on the stove as well as a pile of plain untoasted bagels next to a crumb-covered toaster. Richie seemed to have it all well in hand but Eddie felt a little strange just sitting there watching everything happen without at least offering to do something.

“Can I help?” he asked, his own voice just a little rough from sex and sleep.

Richie glanced up at him, appreciation flashing in his dark eyes as he looked Eddie up and down.

“Just sit there looking like you do, gorgeous. That’s all I need.”

Eddie flushed and sank his teeth into his lower lip, watching Richie pour the eggs into a pan.

“You didn’t have to make me breakfast,” he said a short while later, picking at a string on his boxers.

“You gave me a full course meal last night, babe,” Richie said with a smirk. “I’m just returning the favor.”

Eddie’s hand flew out and smacked him on the shoulder.

“Fuck off, Trashmouth,” he said.

Richie tossed his head back and laughed as the song from the player came to a close.

“I like it,” he said, possibly the only person in the world to appreciate a really bad nickname, even though he practically spoon fed it to Eddie the first time they met. “Watch my eggs.”

With that, he disappeared into the living room and Eddie heard the abrupt sound of a song ending. Richie shuffled around for a few minutes as Eddie watched the eggs like he was told. Then another, somewhat familiar song filled the air as Richie drifted back in.

“Why a record player?” Eddie asked.

“The aesthetic,” Richie said in a deadpan voice.

Yet he looked at Eddie with a glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, cause you’re really rocking the grunge messy look out there,” Eddie said.

“That’s me,” Richie said, taking over the eggs again. “I like it for the sound. It reminds me of… well when things were good and not just fucked up all the time.”

The way he said it made Eddie think that those good times were rare enough that Richie needed to be reminded of them. He fell silent as Richie began singing again, simply listening to him.

_“Up in the distance, I saw a shimmering light. My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim. I had to stop for the night. There she stood in the doorway. I heard the mission bell and I was thinking to myself, 'This could be heaven or this could be hell.’”_

Richie pulled the bacon and sausage from the stove, lifting the pieces onto a paper towel to cool. Eddie reached over to switch off the burners as he went to pull plates from his cabinet.

“Hope you don’t mind scrambled eggs,” Richie paused in his singing to say.

Eddie assured him that it was fine and started to get down from the counter. But before he could, Richie’s hands were on his knees and he turned away from the eggs to kiss him. It started with soft, lingering caresses of their lips but Eddie scooted closer to Richie and slid his legs around his waist, pulling him in closer. Richie’s hands circled his thighs and he stroked his tongue over Eddie’s, humming into his mouth. It was different from any of the other kisses they shared. It felt natural and easy, as if they’d been doing it forever. Then Richie was pulling away and smiling at Eddie’s noise of protest, brushing a kiss over his nose before unwinding himself from Eddie’s embrace, turning to finish up the eggs.

“There’s some juice in the fridge,” Richie told him, his eyes shining with amusement.

Eddie slid from the counter begrudgingly, crossing the room to pull a half-filled bottle of orange juice out. Richie pointed him to the cabinet with cups and Eddie grabbed two of those.

_“Last thing I remember, I was running for the door. I had to find the passage back to the place I was before. ‘Relax,” said the night man. ‘We are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.’”_

The sound of guitar filled the air and Richie hummed along with it as he filled two plates and Eddie supplied the orange juice. He followed Richie into the living room instead of to the kitchen table and they sat on opposite ends of the small couch.

“Enjoy your gourmet feast,” Richie said before shoveling in a mouthful of eggs.

“Thank you,” Eddie said, quite genuine in spite of Richie’s general lack of seriousness.

The live version of a song came up next and Richie simply nodded his head along. They both ate quickly. Eddie was far hungrier than he expected despite the fact that he didn’t usually eat breakfast. He noted that the bags under Richie’s eyes were far less pronounced and hoped that he slept well. Eddie hadn’t stirred at all, the sex wearing him down enough that even one of the area’s infamous earthquakes probably wouldn’t have woken him. He barely finished off his food and drank down his juice before Richie was tugging him close, abandoning the last of his bacon in favor of pulling Eddie into his lap.

“You should finish eating,” Eddie breathed out as Richie kissed along his jaw.

“Mmm you taste better,” Richie said, his tongue darting out to trace the shell of his ear.

Eddie shivered, his cock already twitching and hardening in his boxers as Richie’s hands skimmed over his back. It was hard to think straight, much less form coherent words, when Richie was pressing kisses over his throat and making him grow warmer and more aroused with each second that passed.

“You’re incredibly distracting,” Eddie mumbled even as he tilted his head back, clutching at Richie’s shoulders to keep steady.

“I know,” Richie said, sounding unapologetic. “Take a shower with me?”

Eddie didn’t have to consider that for long, nodding his head. He didn’t have any classes that day and so didn’t have any place to be. Maybe the shower would relax them both long enough to finally discuss this situation. He climbed up from Richie’s lap slowly and took his hand when he held it out, letting Richie lead him down the hall to the bathroom. Richie reached in to switch on the water first before turning to the medicine cabinet.

Eddie heard the rattling of pills and happened to glance over, his hands pausing on the waistband of his boxers as he saw Richie pluck a pill out of an orange prescription bottle.He must have sensed his gaze because Richie’s eyes met his in the mirror as he dry swallowed the pill. Turning towards Eddie, he tossed the bottle over. Eddie caught it without thinking but didn’t look down at it, staring at Richie with uncertainty.

“It’s okay, Eds,” Richie said, though there was a bit of tension in his shoulders now that wasn’t there before. “I’m not fucking ashamed or anything. It’s not a big deal.”

After another beat of hesitation, Eddie finally looked down at the half-full bottle, reading over the slightly faded label. His eyes caught the name there first. Richard Tozier. He didn’t know Richie’s last name until now. Then he saw the name of the medication.

“Citalopram,” Eddie read off.

Both he and Richie knew that he was aware that the medicine was for depression. He was almost a psychologist, after all. Steam from the shower was already filling the room when he looked up, handing the bottle back over to Richie.

“Millions of Americans take something like it, or so they tell me,” Richie said with a shrug. “Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“There isn’t,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “I take desipramine.”

Richie looked at him questioningly, though he relaxed a little at his words.

“Anxiety,” Eddie explained.

Richie let out a slow breath before huffing out a laugh, rubbing a hand over his jaw.

“Aren’t we just two prams in a pod?” he joked, clearly trying to lighten the tension in the room.

Eddie stepped closer to him, setting the medicine bottle on the counter. Then he leaned up, brushing a soft kiss over Richie’s shoulder.

“We’re taking a shower?” he asked, looking up at him.

Richie stared down at him for a long moment before nodding. But he caught Eddie’s chin gently between his forefinger and thumb, kissing him before he could step away. It was a brief kiss but it communicated what Richie didn’t want to say aloud. Eddie knew exactly what it meant. They parted after a moment and Eddie turned away, slipping his boxers off before pulling up the fogged over door. The water was the perfect balance between warm and hot, making him sigh with relief.

Richie climbed in after him, sliding his arms around Eddie’s waist as they both stood beneath the spray, letting it run over their skin and relax them. Shivers ran down his spine when Richie’s fingers brushed over his abdomen, drawing nonsense patterns over his skin. Eddie turned slowly after a while, looking up at Richie as he dipped his head under the water, letting it soak into his hair. Then he stepped back towards the wall, watching with his lower lip caught between his teeth as Richie pulled the tie from his hair and leaned his head back.

Eddie couldn’t help but run his eyes unashamedly over every inch of Richie’s body as he rinsed his hair. He was slim and mostly long limbs with wiry muscles, like he worked out just enough to give them the lightest definition. There was a dusting of dark hair over his chest and a trail of it leading from his navel down to his groin. He was half-hard already and Eddie felt hot desire coiling in his belly as he remembered how good that cock felt thrusting and out of him the night before. He dragged his eyes back up Richie’s torso to his face, where his full lips were slightly parted and his cheeks were flushed from the heat of the shower.

“If you’re gonna keep looking at me like you wanna fucking jump me right now, you might as well get over here and do something about it.”

His eyes flitted up to Richie’s only to see that they were burning with lust. How long had he been watching Eddie watch him? Eddie looked away from him with color warming his own face, reaching out to grab a washcloth and a bottle of soap from a small shelf in the corner of the shower. With downcast eyes, he stepped closer to Richie and warmed the cloth beneath the water before pouring a bit of soap onto it. Then he began running the cloth over Richie’s chest, feeling his muscles jump under the contact even through the towel. Eddie focused on his task, washing his chest and stomach before walking around to clean his back too.

Richie stood perfectly still, his breaths coming out in sharp bursts as Eddie washed him gently. He didn’t know why he did it. Something just told Eddie that Richie went through life taking care of other people but never himself. The filthy jokes and general loudmouthed, humorous personality were part of him but they covered something deeper that Richie kept hidden. Eddie hesitated when he reached the scar on his back, sweeping his thumb over it as Richie shivered beneath the touch. Neither of them said a word. The scar sat too low on his back so Eddie settled with sweeping Richie’s hair away from his the back of his neck to press a kiss there.

Then Richie was suddenly turning and Eddie could barely gasp before their lips collided in a hard, devastating kiss. Richie dragged him in close and gripped his hips, sucking on Eddie’s lower lip before scraping his teeth over it, soothing the sting with a sweep of his tongue before delving into his mouth. Eddie slid his arms around Richie’s shoulders, holding onto him just as tightly, kissing him back with equal fervor. They couldn’t get close enough, their slick bodies sliding together as warm water continued raining down on them. Then the wall collided with Eddie’s back when Richie pushed them both out from beneath the spray,

He let out a soft cry at the change in temperature from warm water to cold wall that turned to a moan when Richie hauled his legs up around his hips, grinding into Eddie. Their cocks bumped together, making their bodies hum with need. Eddie shuddered and reached between them, fitting his hand over both to slot them together. Richie groaned with approval and desperation, rocking his hips forward so his cock could slide against Eddie’s. It was exactly the right amount of friction that they needed. Eddie hooked his free arm around Richie’s shoulders, taking some of his weight as best he could while Richie gripped his thighs to hold him up and against the wall.

Their gasps and moans filled the air between them, almost drowned out by the water hitting the tiled floor. Richie didn’t kiss Eddie like he expected, instead holding his gaze with impossibly deep, searching eyes. It made the moment all the more intense. Even with bodies shaking from the effort of holding this position, they chased their pleasure with thrusting hips and breathless groans. When Eddie felt the familiar tightness forming in his belly, somehow Richie knew just by the way he knocked his head back against the wall. He covered Eddie’s lips in a feverish, bruising kiss, speeding up his movements.

It didn’t take long after that for Eddie to spill out over his hand and Richie’s cock, moaning against his mouth as his orgasm rolled over him in waves of fervent pleasure. Richie followed not long after, his head falling to Eddie’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time, breathing heavily and coming down not only from their orgasms, but from whatever intensity had taken over the both of them. Maybe it was the heaviness of their confessions about the medicine. Maybe it was how Eddie touched Richie’s scars. He didn’t know. But whatever was happening here with Richie was heady and addictive. He didn’t know if he could stop.

Even worse, he didn’t know if he ever wanted to.

*

“Earth to Eddie.”

A hand waved in front of his face several times before he blinked out of his reverie. Eddie looked around with confusion before remembering where he was. They were sitting near a coffee cart in the university quad, finishing off their drinks before heading inside for class. Jodie sat next to him with a questioning look, clearly wondering why he’d fazed out when they were in the middle of a conversation about their asshole professor. She was a kind girl that Eddie met their ridiculous freshman orientation class a few years ago.

She could keep up with his running commentary about everything around them with ease, throwing out sarcastic comments that had Eddie snorting into his hand all the time. Even better, Jodie was as gay as they came with a girlfriend of a year and a half. So they had everything in common and a good solid friendship on top of that. The only thing she didn’t know about Eddie was where his recent income came from or anything about Richie at all. She knew that Mike worked in porn, since he wasn’t particularly shy about it, but Eddie couldn’t bring himself to confess quite yet.

“What’s up?” Jodie asked, glancing from Eddie down to his phone.

Oh. Yes. That’s what led his attention away from their conversation. It had been a month since that morning at Richie’s. They slept together on and off camera, somehow finding a balance that worked for them. They still hadn’t really talked about the situation. Whenever they were together, it was too easy to get lost in each other. Now they had a running text conversation, which Richie used as an excuse to be even more ridiculous than usual, including the occasional picture or video, if Richie was in the mood.

On his phone screen, there was a picture of Richie with blue mascara on his lashes, blush on his cheeks, and bright pink gloss on his lips as well as silver stars drawn in eyeliner at the corners of his eyes. Eddie could see that he was in Bev’s dressing room at the studio and his hair was tied up out of his face, which meant that he was finished shooting for the day. Richie was pouting dramatically up at the camera and it almost drew a laugh out of Eddie as he peered down at it again.

“Sorry,” he said, locking his phone and causing the screen to go black. “Just a friend being dumb.”

“A friend, huh?” Jodie asked.

He looked up at her innocently, though the growing blush in his cheeks gave him away.

“You prick!” she gasped, shoving at his shoulder. “Why haven’t I heard about this? What’s his name? Does he go to this school?”

Eddie laughed, shaking his head.

“Not telling,” he said, standing up.

“I tell you about Ally!” Jodie protested, following him to the trash can.

“I’ve witnessed you and Ally. It’s different,” Eddie told her, sipping at the rest of his drink before tossing it away. “This is… weird. I don’t really know what’s going on.”

“Are you hooking up?” Jodie asked, keeping hold of her cup.

Eddie didn’t answer, shrugging once.

“I hate you!”

He held back another laugh, turning towards her.

“It’s really not a big deal,” Eddie said.

Jodie stared at him suspiciously for a long moment before sighing heavily.

“Fine, keep your secrets Eddie K,” she huffed, throwing her hands in the air. “But if it gets serious, I expect details. All of them. Extensive.”

Eddie simply smiled at her and she shook her head, walking towards the building that held their next class as she muttered under her breath. He started to follow but his phone buzzed again. Eddie unlocked it only to see that Richie sent him a video. He stopped in place and pressed play without thinking only to hear music with a heavy bass. It wasn’t an uncommon thing to hear in Bev’s dressing room. The camera shook and focused on nothing for a second before spinning around to show Richie’s made up face.

“Compliments of _the_ Beverly Marsh,” he said in a breathy socialite voice that Eddie hadn’t heard yet. “She’s the rising stylist of the stars. She’ll make it big one day, I swear. And I’ll tell them all that I knew her first.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Beverly yelled in the background through her laughter.

Richie grinned at something offscreen, probably Bev herself, before looking back at the camera.

“Tell the truth, baby, you want to kiss these lips so bad right now, huh?”

Richie puckered up at the camera and Eddie bit down hard on his lip to keep from grinning.

“Tell him I wan...” the rest of Beverly’s words got lost as Richie shuffled the phone from one hand to the other before it refocused on him.

“Bev says you’re next,” Richie said, looking at him. “And she better clear out fast when she does it because if she gives you red lips, I’m definitely gonna want those lips wrapped around my-”

“Beep beep Richie!” Bev screeched.

The video ended with the sound of Richie laughing and Eddie shook his head, locking it and shoving it away in his pocket. Then he caught up to Jodie, listening as she started into a rant about a dick in her humanities class. Eddie couldn’t keep a smile off his face the whole way to their classroom.

He was definitely screwed.

*

As it turned out, Eddie’s turn came just a few weeks later. He sat on the couch in Beverly’s dressing room, remaining patiently still with his eyes closed as she stroked soft brushes over his face.

“You’re gonna drive him crazy,” she said.

Eddie could just see the smile on her face.

“It’s for the shoot, Bev,” he reminded her.

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Beverly waved off. “We both know that’s not entirely true. You came to me, remember? Bill never said anything about makeup.”

“And you said I’d be a good canvas,” Eddie said.

“I was right.”

He quieted for a few moments as she finished him up.

“How’s Ben?” Eddie asked.

He could practically see the blinding smile form on Beverly’s face even though his eyes were closed. She was utterly in love with her fiancé and the feeling was definitely mutual. Eddie hadn’t ever seen two people quite so head over heels for each other, though Bill and Stan certainly gave them a run for their money.

“He’s good,” Beverly said, her voice warm. “Traveling for work again but he loves his job so I’m happy for him. It’s pretty cool to say I have an architect for a fiancé. Close your mouth.”

She finished off by coating Eddie’s lips in something that smelled vaguely sweet and made his lips feel slippery and smooth.

“All done!”

Eddie opened his eyes slowly and she was giving him a handheld mirror before he could ask how it looked. He lifted it up, blinking with surprise at his reflection. Bev barely did much of anything, dusting the lightest shadow over his lids and coating his lashes in mascara before carefully applying eyeliner under his eyes and brushing just a little bit of blush over his cheeks. Then, to finish it off, she added a light coating of pink gloss to his lips that brought it all together.

“You look fucking gorgeous, Eddie,” Beverly said, looking delighted. “I’m a little jealous.”

“You think it’s okay?” Eddie asked, looking up at her questioningly.

“I think you have to be really, really careful,” she warned him, putting away all of her makeup. “There’s every chance that Richie will come in his pants just looking at you.”

He rolled his eyes with a sigh.

“You’re just as bad as him sometimes,” Eddie told her.

“No I’m not,” Beverly said with a laugh, completely unoffended by his words.

No, she wasn’t. Richie was all in a category of his own. The previous day, he spent two hours alone trying to convince Eddie to nickname his penis. It was never going to happen, not that it meant Richie had any intention of giving up. Eddie still didn’t know if he was done trying yet. In spite of his utterly ridiculous antics, Eddie found himself pulled closer and closer with each passing day. It was unexplainable. They kept up their arrangement, sleeping with each other on and off camera. No conversation had been had, not really, but they were content for now. Before he could say anything else to Bev, someone knocked on the door.

“We’re ready for you, Eddie.”

“Be there in a minute!” he called back.

“Have fun,” Beverly sang with a grin.

He stood from the couch with a sigh but before he could get to the door, Eddie turned around.

“I don’t know how this works,” he admitted and she looked up, giving him a questioning look. “Are they going to make me do this with someone other than Richie at some point?”

It was a fear that had been rising to the surface lately. Eddie knew that both Bev and Mike made films with other people and even with each other. Richie had other films too. Eddie was the only one who had been restricted to one person so far. Beverly simply snorted, shaking her head as she sat in her chair with her legs folded beneath her.

“I doubt it’s going to happen anytime soon, if at all,” she said, running a hand through her loose hair. “Bill recognizes something special when he sees it. You and Richie have this raw chemistry that can’t be faked by anyone and it’s making the studio a lot of money. They’re gonna milk that for all it’s worth. As long as you’re getting it up for Richie and he’s getting it up for you too, it’s pretty much set in stone.”

Eddie nodded, appreciating Beverly’s blunt honesty in that moment.

“That doesn’t mean you’re not going to have to have the talk at some point,” she said.

He appreciated it a little less now.

“What talk?” Eddie asked, playing dumb.

Beverly simply narrowed her eyes at him.

“There’s no rule that says you can’t have a relationship outside of work, even in our industry. But you can’t do it if you don’t talk,” she said.

“It’s not really… a relationship,” Eddie said hesitantly.

“It’s something,” Beverly said, not fooled by his avoidance. “And you know that you should talk about it.”

He didn’t deny that. Eddie started to leave again but something else stopped him. Another thing that had been weighing on him.

“You know about his scars, don’t you?” he asked so quietly that his voice was barely above a whisper.

Beverly stilled in place, her eyes taking on a wary look as she stared back at Eddie.

“He’ll talk to you when he’s ready,” she said, speaking just as quietly. “Don’t rush him.”

“I won’t,” Eddie assured her.

“You need to be ready. It won’t be easy to hear,” Beverly advised him.

He knew that without her having to tell him but something about the confirmation made a slightly ill feeling gather in his stomach.

“Thanks Bev,” Eddie said.

He meant it more than he could really say. She nodded, giving him a small smile. Eddie considered her words as he walked towards the set. Aside from Bill, Beverly knew Richie better than anyone. From what he gathered in his short time there, they were both incredibly protective over the other. It meant a lot that she talked to Eddie about Richie like she did. Her approval was fairly blatant at this point.

Eddie was lost in thought all the way to the living room set, complete with a plush leather couch and chair. Bill was already there, of course, talking something over with a new writer that ran every decision by him, big or small. He heard snatches of their conversation float towards him until he drew closer and Bill’s voice rang out just a little bit louder.

“This isn’t going to work,” he said, sounding almost impatient as he shoved the script back into the writer’s hands. “Richie doesn’t bottom.”

Those words did catch Eddie’s attention as he sank down to sit on the couch. He didn’t even bother to pretend like he wasn’t watching and listening. This was the first he heard of it though Eddie already suspected it to be true.

“Huh. I pegged him for a guy who did both,” the writer said casually.

It was clearly meant to be a joke but Bill’s face only hardened.

“He doesn’t,” he said almost coldly.

The writer walked away at that, clearly sensing that he’d entered dangerous territory. As Bill turned away, his eye caught Eddie’s and his stressed expression relaxed into a small smile.

“It’s a good look,” he said, crossing over to Eddie as he gestured to his face. “Gotta be honest though, it might get a little too hot and heavy even for us when Richie sees you.”

Eddie laughed lightly, ducking his head. They both knew it was true. There wasn’t really anyone who didn’t know about him and Richie at this point. Any secrecy went out the window when they got to know everything that made the other tick during sex and showed it whenever they filmed. Bill’s theory was put to the test when Richie walked up just a few minutes later as Bill was talking about his anniversary plans with Stan. Eddie sat up a little straighter without looking away from Bill, partly listening as Richie joked around with one of the production assistants. As he walked onto the set, Bill stepped away and shot Eddie a knowing smile.

“Hey,” Richie said, glancing around them as he stroked a hand through Eddie’s hair.

“Hi,” Eddie said quietly, lifting his head up to look at him, waiting patiently until he noticed.

“You know I think we should…”

Richie glanced down at him as he spoke, trailing off with wide eyes as soon as he caught sight of Eddie.

“Should what?” Eddie said, blinking up at him.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Richie breathed out, stroking his thumb over Eddie’s practically glowing skin. “You really are trying to kill me.”

He sank onto the couch next to Eddie, his eyes roving over his face.

“Bev did it,” Eddie said.

“Thank you Bev,” Richie murmured.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile at that.

“It’s fucking unfair, Eds. I wanna kiss you right now but I’ll fuck it all up,” he complained a little.

“You can kiss me other places,” Eddie said after thinking about it for a few moments.

Richie perked up a little, clearly interested by that.

“Yeah? What’d you have in mind?”

Eddie slowly tugged his shirt over his head, lying back on the couch.

“Here,” he said, trailing his fingers down his throat.

“Well shit,” Richie said, leaning over to brace his hands on either side of Eddie. “I do like kissing you there.”

He lowered his head, trailing kisses down the column of his throat before brushing his lips over his collarbone and nipping at a sensitive spot just behind his ear.

“Where else?” Richie asked.

“Here,” Eddie said, his breathing a little more heavy than before as he stroked his hand over his chest.

Richie moved down, laving kisses over his skin before closing his lips around Eddie’s nipple, circling it with his tongue and tugging lightly with his teeth before kissing his way over to the other peak to give it the same treatment.

“Down here?” Richie murmured, trailing his lips down to Eddie’s abdomen.

“Mm-hm,” Eddie nodded, combing his fingers through Richie’s hair.

He kissed and nipped at his skin, circling Eddie’s navel with his tongue before skimming his lips along the skin just over his waistband. As he tugged Eddie’s pants down, he kissed his hips, lingering there before peeling away his boxers too. Eddie was hard and leaking against his belly by now, lifting his hips a little as Richie settled between his legs.

“Here?” he breathed out, pretty feather-soft kisses over Eddie’s inner thighs.

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, tilting his head back.

Richie made him tremble with need as he kissed over both thighs before ghosting his lips over Eddie’s cock.

“Here?” his warm breath made Eddie jerk and whine.

“Please,” he cried out, driven to the edge by all the teasing.

Richie didn’t respond, spreading his legs further before sneaking his hand underneath him, stroking at his hole with slow circles of his thumb.

“Here?” he asked.

Eddie’s eyes flew open at the question.

“What?” he choked out.

Richie looked up at him, looking almost ravenous as he pressed his thumb over Eddie’s hole.

“You took a shower, didn’t you baby? I smelled your soap in my room,” he said.

Eddie swallowed hard and nodded, wondering if this was going where he really thought it was going.

“Turn over for me,” Richie said.

He did just that, slowly pushing himself onto his knees and bracing his elbows against the arm of the couch. Eddie’s head dropped between his arms as Richie blew lightly over his hole, teasing him endlessly. Then his tongue just barely traced over his rim and Eddie thought he might actually scream out at the feeling. It was strange and intense and amazing. Richie started slow but slowly increased the pressure until he was alternating between teasing kitten licks and full strokes of his tongue before dipping it into him just enough to make him shake and whimper.

“Oh fuck...oh...oh...fu-fuck...please...oh _God_ …”

Eddie rocked back into Richie’s mouth, desperately chasing his orgasm. He knew it wouldn’t happen without something more to push him over the edge but he needed it so desperately that he could barely breathe. Then Richie pulled away, drawing a sob from his throat as he pressed kisses over his lower back.

“You’re the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, baby,” he praised.

Eddie bit down hard on his lower lip, careless of the gloss there as he shuddered and came down from his almost orgasm.

“I hate you so much,” he whispered out, feeling incredibly frustrated.

He could feel Richie smile against his skin.

“No you don’t.”

He didn’t.

“We’re gonna adjust some of the lighting guys!” Bill called out to them.

Eddie pushed himself up slowly to sit, accepting a robe from one assistant and a bottle of water from the other.

“Don’t you dare kiss me until you brush your teeth, Trashmouth,” he warned Richie, narrowing his eyes angrily.

Tossing his head back with a laugh, Richie stood up to do just that.

Eddie tried to tell himself that he didn’t like him at all.

But he really, really did.

*

“Just a few more positions and we can get started!” Bill called out to them.

It was a few weeks later and the first time Eddie felt any panic at all about this job since the first day. Eddie didn’t say anything, staring at the ceiling past Richie’s shoulder as they tested lighting around them. He couldn’t quite bring his mouth to work. It was too late to say anything. Eddie knew that. He’d given a few stipulations on his contract when he signed it. It never occured to Eddie that he should mention something like this. So he went along with it, stamping down the sick feeling in his stomach. It was only Richie’s closeness that hadn’t led to him completely breaking down. But he was close to the edge, focusing on controlling his breathing so that no one caught onto the panic twisting in his chest.

“What’s wrong with you?” Richie asked quietly.

Clearly he wasn’t doing that good of a job. Eddie shifted on the exam table, trying not to think about how similar the set looked to some of the doctor’s offices he visited when he was a kid.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled.

“Eds,” Richie sighed.

Eddie swallowed hard and looked away from the ceiling, finally peering up at Richie. His eyebrows were knitted with concern and his eyes were darting over Eddie’s face, clearly trying to figure out what was going on. Eddie tried to take a breath but his chest felt too tight and the room felt like it was closing in on him all of the sudden. His hand darted up, grasping at Richie’s sleeve as he closed his eyes.

“I can’t-” Eddie choked out in a whisper, shaking his head. “I can’t breathe.”

Richie’s sleeve was pulled out of his grasp and Eddie felt a jolt of panic that he’d chased the other man off.

“Bill,” Richie was calling him over.

This was it. They’d decide he wasn’t worth it. He’d only been working at the studio for a few months and they couldn’t afford for the newbie to disrupt their shoots. Eddie sat up slowly to accept his fate, covering his hands with his face. He heard Bill cross over to Richie as tears sprung to his eyes, making it even harder to breathe.

“What’s going on?’ Bill asked gently.

“I don’t think this is happening today.”

That was all that Richie said. Apparently that was all it took.

“Clear the set!”

Bill’s words were law and Eddie heard the sound of the crew leaving as he hunched over, his body shaking.

“What do you need, Eddie?” Bill asked, gently placing a hand on his shoulder.

He would have cried out of sheer relief that they weren’t kicking him out here and now if he didn’t feel so on edge.

“I can’t be here,” Eddie said, lifting his head.

He searched out Richie, who was hovering to the side of the exam table with an incredibly worried look on his face. Eddie didn’t blame him. He had to look like a wreck with tears sliding down his cheeks and his chest quickly rising and falling with the effort it took to breathe right now.

“Here in the studio or…”

“Here!” Eddie blurted out, interrupting Bill and feeling sorry about it right away.

But he couldn’t stop himself.

“I-I can’t be in this-this place...this room…it’s too...I can’t...please…”

He could only manage a few words at a time, sobs tearing out of his throat as he curled his hands into fists. Hands pulled him down from the table gently and he leaned into Richie as soon as he was on his own feet, relief already pulling the crushing feeling from his shoulders as he stumbled away with Richie on one side and Bill on the other.

“Take him to your room,” Eddie heard Bill say differently. “I’ll push up the schedule and come check on you in a few minutes.”

“You got it, Big Bill,” Richie said, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s shoulders.

He barely saw where they were going, trusting Richie to lead him right. Sure enough, he found himself collapsing onto Richie’s couch after a minute or so. Eddie tried to press his face into his hands again but Richie was there before he could, pulling them away gently before pressing a bottle of water into his hands. Eddie drank slowly, keeping his eyes shut as his panic ebbed away, leaving behind remorse.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a hushed tone, keeping his head ducked. “I ruined it and-”

“Stop,” Richie said.

Eddie lifted his head without fully meaning to, meeting his eyes.

“You should have said something sooner,” Richie said, cupping Eddie’s cheek with his hand. “You were feeling like this the whole time, weren’t you?”

Eddie nodded slowly, shame unfurling in his chest. It shouldn’t have affected him like this. It was a simple set with a simple story. Richie was supposed to be a patient and Eddie a nurse. It was their first shot at roleplaying at all after a few pretty normal videos to ease Eddie into it. Yet he couldn’t even handle it. They hadn’t even put on the clothes. It was just the set that caused him to panic.

“My mom,” Eddie said quietly before he could really think. “She used to take me to see doctors when I was young. She was convinced that I was sick all the time. They gave me so many tests and shots and pills but it was only to make her go away. I was never actually sick. She made me think I was for years. I thought I had asthma and allergies and that one coughing fit meant I had to be shut away from the world for weeks at a time.”

Tears slid down his cheeks as he spoke. Richie sat next to him in still silence, his eyes fixed on him. Eddie couldn’t bring himself to look back.

“Shit,” Richie finally said, pulling Eddie into his chest.

He went willingly, pressing his face into Richie’s shoulder as those strong arms wrapped around him. Eddie found himself finally relaxing again.

“You should have said something,” Richie repeated, rubbing at his back.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” Eddie said in a small voice. “I didn’t want to make everyone else stop what they were doing.”

Richie sighed heavily, pressing a kiss into Eddie’s hair. There was a long moment of silence as he held his lips there. Eddie felt something strange, like he was waiting for Richie to say something even though he gave no indication that he would. It was like Richie was trying to muster up the words. Eddie didn’t say anything, wondering if he was right or just imagining things. Then…

“I worked at another studio before this one,” Richie said quietly, his voice just barely above a whisper. “Before I even met Bill.”

Eddie sat silently, letting the words sink in. He hadn’t heard anything about this before. He never even suspected that Richie didn’t always work here. He knew that Richie was older than him and that he had a hard time growing up. Eddie never questioned the scars, only kissing them every once in a while as if he could take away the pain attached, and Richie never brought them up. And he never knew that Richie worked for another studio.

“Rich…” he breathed out.

“They didn’t give a shit,” Richie said, his voice wavering slightly. “It didn’t matter how you felt. They owned you and you did what they said. It’s not like that here, okay? You want to stop then say it, Eds. You have to promise that you’ll say it. Cause I’m not gonna be a part of that. I’m not gonna make you do something you don’t want to do. Not ever.”

Richie’s words came out faster and faster until he was breathing hard himself. Eddie sat up at once, pressing his hands to Richie’s cheeks with wide eyes.

“Okay,” he said quickly, looking into Richie’s wild, desperate eyes. “I promise. I’ll speak up next time, okay? Just breathe, Richie.”

He nodded, clutching at Eddie’s wrists. They breathed together, keeping eye contact as their frenetic nerves calmed slowly. Then a knock came on the door and they both turned to face it as Richie cleared his throat and told them to come in. Bill peeked his head in as Eddie wiped at his cheeks, looking relieved that they were calm now.

“Are you okay?” he asked Eddie.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head and forcing a smile onto his face. “I’m really sorry Bill.”

“Don’t be, Eddie. You’re more important,” he assured Eddie, his forehead still creased with concern as he glanced Richie’s way. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Richie said.

Bill looked about as convinced as Eddie felt.

“You two can get out of here,” he decided, looking as though it just popped in his head. “I’ll clear you both from the schedule for a few days.”

Eddie glanced at Richie, who nodded once.

“Thanks Bill,” Richie said, smiling at the man who was more friend than boss at the end of the day.

Bill nodded, a smile tugging at his lips.

“Let me know if either of you need something,” he said seriously.

“We will,” Eddie agreed.

Bill left at that, leaving them alone with one another.

“Wanna go home?” Richie asked, sounding tired all of the sudden.

Eddie nodded, feeling the same way. They got ready quickly and silently. It didn’t take long to get back to Richie’s apartment on his bike. Their hands were entwined loosely in the elevator and they didn’t let go until they were in Richie’s bedroom. Clothes fell in small piles on the floor as they climbed beneath the blankets. But they didn’t even kiss. Richie laid on his side and pulled Eddie’s back to his chest, holding him close with his arms wrapped around him and his face pressed into his shoulder blade. Eddie skimmed his fingers over Richie’s arm, feeling the raised scars under his fingers every so often. Something occurred to him as he laid there and the heavy weight of it threatened to make him sick. Eddie didn’t even know if Richie was still awake when he opened his mouth to speak.

“Your scars,” he whispered, almost afraid to speak too loud right now. “Are-are they… from the other place?”

There wasn’t a response for a long minute. Richie didn’t even move. Then he exhaled shakily and pulled Eddie in just a little bit closer.

“Yes.”

*

Eddie didn’t really know when he fell asleep. Neither of them spoke after he asked Richie about the scars. They must have just drifted off. The room was completely dark and it took him a long few moments to blink enough that he could see the barest outlines of Richie’s bedroom. It took even longer for him to figure out what woke him up, much to his chagrin. A soft whine filled the air behind him. Eddie turned over in an instant, his eyes searching.

Richie was laid out on his back with the blankets kicked off of him and his hands digging into the mattress. There was a sheen of sweat over his skin and his chest was rising and falling quickly. His hair stuck to his forehead because of the sweat and his face was screwed into a tense, pained expression as his lips parted and another whimper slipped out from his lips.

“No,” he exhaled, his body tensing even more. “Do-don’t…I don’t w-want...stop…”

Eddie reached out without a moment of hesitation, touching Richie’s shoulder gently.

“Richie,” he murmured, leaning down towards him. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re just sleeping.”

Richie tossed his head to the side, a tear sliding out from beneath his closed eyelid.

“Richie!”

Eddie shook his shoulder more vigorously and suddenly he was shooting up, stumbling from the bed and knocking Eddie’s hand away. Richie collapsed down against the wall, running his hands through his hair as he pulled his knees to his chest. Eddie watched with wide eyes, frozen in place for just a moment as he watched. He’d never seen Richie look quite so _small_ and it threw him off guard. Then he was slowly standing and crossing over to Richie, who had grown concerningly silent as he ducked his head low enough that his hair covered his face.

“Hey,” Eddie murmured, dropping to his knees beside him.

He reached out to touch Richie but he flinched away and Eddie withdrew his hand, not wanting to push him.

“It was just a nightmare,” Eddie told him soothingly,

Richie shook his head, finally looking up at Eddie with his cheeks wet with tears that swam in his eyes.

“ _You_ were there,” he said in a horrified, hoarse voice. “They-they were making me… I didn’t want to… you cried, Eds. I did that. I-I-”

Eddie hesitantly reached out again, closing both of his hands over one of Richie’s when he didn’t pull away again.

“I’m not there,” he said, staring into Richie’s eyes. “You’re not there. Nothing happened, baby. We’re here.”

He pulled Richie’s hand up, brushing a kiss over his knuckles.

“I’m right here.”

Richie swallowed hard, his eyes darting all over Eddie’s face.

“You’re here,” he repeated after a while.

Eddie nodded, stroking his thumb over the back of his hand in sweeping circles.

“I’m here,” he assured him.

He leaned in, brushing a kiss over Richie’s forehead. After a little bit of coaxing and tugging, Richie finally let Eddie pull him back to bed. This time, Eddie tugged him down with Richie’s head on his chest. He laid awkwardly for a moment before fitting his body against Eddie’s and clutching at him tightly and desperately. Eddie didn’t comment on the warm tears that dripped onto his skin, nor on the hitching breaths he heard come from Richie’s mouth. Instead he hummed out one of Richie’s favorite songs. It took a while but Richie finally sniffled and exhaled softly before opening his mouth to sing in a soft, quiet voice.

_“I’ve been trying to make it home. Got to make it before too long. I can’t take this very much longer. I’m stranded in the sleet and the rain. Don’t think I’m ever gonna make it home again. The morning sun is rising. It’s kissing the day.”_

Eddie ran his fingers through Richie’s hair as he sang, still humming with the words.

_“The wheel in the sky keeps on turning. I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow. Oh the wheel in the sky keeps on turning…”_

*

Eddie didn’t know what he expected after that night but it was anything but what happened. He thought that it might be hard for a few days. That he and Richie wouldn’t really know how to act around each other for a while but then it would be okay. He didn’t expect for Richie to start avoiding him. What made it even worse was the fact that finals week was creeping up on him and he’d taken off of work for a few weeks to focus fully on completing his exams. So when Richie refused to answer any calls or texts, Eddie had very little choice outside of going to the studio or to his apartment and making a scene.

He did the only truly rational thing he could think of but even Bev didn’t have much to offer him. All she could tell him was that Richie was alive, acting more or less like himself, and definitely still taking his medication. That was it. It was driving Eddie to the brink but he refused to force Richie to talk to him. Not if he was trying to cope with stuff that was going on in his own mind. He told himself that Bev was keeping an eye on him and that the guilt he felt was only because he wanted to help him. Yet there was a small part of Eddie that just knew he did something wrong. That he forced Richie to talk about something he didn’t want to relive and it caused all of this.

As much as he tried to tell himself that couldn’t be the cause, Eddie couldn’t shake the thoughts. He was sure that Richie was pushing him away because of it. And it was hard to even figure out how he was supposed to feel about it because they never actually fucking talked. They fucked at work and they watched movies on Richie’s couch and they ate takeout in Eddie’s kitchen and they fucked at home. But they never talked. So what were they? Coworkers? Friends? Friends with benefits? Lovers? Boyfriends? He had no idea and it was hard to mourn something that he never felt like he really had.

So Eddie was in a holding pattern, trying not to let any of it affect his studies since it was his junior year and all of his classes were incredibly important. It wasn’t until the last day of his finals that he walked out of the building after his last exam with Jodie at his side that there was any sort of resolution to anything. He was stressing over a few questions he may have wrong on the short essay portion instead of feeling relieved that it was all over when Jodie let out a low whistle, peering off at something in the distance with raised eyebrows.

“Isn’t that the physical embodiment of every wet dream you’ve ever had?”

Her words reminded him so much of Richie that his heart ached for a moment as he looked around to see what she was talking about. Then his heart all but stopped as he realized that Richie was exactly who she was talking about. He leaned against a tree watching as students passed, a cigarette pressed between his lips and his leather jacket covering a dark red shirt. He looked even paler than usually and his cheekbones were too pronounced in his face. Yet he looked incredibly attractive and all Eddie wanted to do was throw his arms around him and never let go.

“You’re gay,” he said to Jodie instead.

“That’s why I said _you_ ,” she told him with a roll of her eyes. “Tell me that’s not just your type, Eddie. I’ve seen the guys you lust over.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, his mouth feeling incredibly dry as he walked down the steps with her. “He’s my type.”

His voice sounded odd even to his ears so there’s no way she didn’t catch on.

“Oh my God,” Jodie said, too smart for her own good. “Don’t tell me that’s…”

Richie chose that exact moment to notice him and Eddie tried to tell himself that it wasn’t relief he saw in the other man’s face. That would just make this all harder because if Richie wasn’t pushing him away, then what was the distance for?

“I’ll catch up with you later,” Eddie said.

“Am I ever going to get details?” Jodie huffed out hypothetically, squeezing his arm good-naturedly before walking off in another direction.

Eddie crossed over to Richie slowly, steeling himself for whatever would happen. Richie put out his cigarette before Eddie could get there, pushing off of the tree to stand with his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

“That was Jodie, huh?” he asked once Eddie reached him.

Richie had heard all about her but obviously hadn’t met her yet. Eddie thought before that it was only a matter of time before they did. He didn’t like keeping his worlds separate like this. But now it was doubtful whether it would ever actually happen.

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, kicking at a rock on the pavement as he looked down at his shoes.

He had no idea what to say to Richie. It hadn’t felt this weird between them before. Even the first day, he had no issue talking to Richie.

“How did you know where to find me?” Eddie asked.

As far as he knew, Richie knew next to nothing about his campus or his finals schedule. So how did he know exactly where to be?

“Mike might have told me,” Richie said.

Of course. Mike had been trying to keep Eddie’s head up for the past few weeks, assuring him that it would be alright. It got harder and harder to believe him as the days passed without a word from Richie.

“Why are you here?” Eddie asked.

Richie glanced away from him, looking around them before returning his gaze to Eddie.

“We need to talk,” he said after taking a deep breath. “I know we do but I didn’t… I didn’t want to fuck up this week for you. I know how important it is to you and I didn’t want to ruin your tests by stressing you out.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes at him.

“You think I haven’t been stressed?” he said, fighting back a disbelieving scoff. “You went radio silent on me after… that night. You think I wasn’t going out of my mind? You don’t think just one text saying that you were okay would have helped even a little bit? You don’t think I’ve been fucking… questioning every single thing, Richie? I’ve been stressed beyond belief and you refusing to talk to me didn’t help.”

Richie looked speechless for a moment and the guilt came rushing back. Eddie took a step back, shaking his head. He didn’t mean to say any of that. He didn’t mean to make Richie feel bad for any of it.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie murmured, looking down at his feet. “Shit, Rich. I didn’t… I don’t want to make you feel bad for doing what you had to do. I’ve just… been…”

He didn’t get to finish because suddenly Richie was standing a lot closer and Eddie barely lifted his head to look up at him before he was pulling him into a hug, holding him tightly as he buried his face in Eddie’s hair.

“Fuck, Eds,” he whispered as Eddie’s arms wound around him, his hands gripping at Richie’s jacket. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Tears sprung to Eddie’s eyes but he refused to let them fall. He simply held Richie and didn’t speak because they couldn’t do this here.

“Can we talk?” Richie asked, finally saying the words that one of them should have spoken months ago.

“Yeah,” Eddie said quietly.

He stepped away, letting go of Richie to adjust the straps of his backpack. Richie held out his hand and Eddie took it, letting him lead him to the parking lot where his motorcycle waited. Eddie didn’t hesitate to get on behind him, pressing close and wrapping his arms around Richie. The ride went by quicker than he wished it would because Eddie was terrified of how this talk would end. They wound up sitting on Richie’s couch, Eddie’s legs curled beneath him and his hands folded in his lap as Richie turned to face him.

“Did I do something wrong?” Eddie asked quietly when Richie tooked like he was having a hard time trying to figure out where to start.

Richie looked almost panicked at his words, shaking his head.

“No you- of course not, Eds. Why would you think that?” he asked, frowning at him.

“I thought I might have pushed you too much. I asked about… your scars,” Eddie said hesitantly, looking up at him.

Richie hesitated, glancing down at his arm where he’d pushed up his sleeves after pulling off his jacket. They both looked at the cigarette burns for a long moment.

“It’s not about that, babe,” Richie finally said, looking up at Eddie with a heavy gaze when he finally lifted his head again. “I would have told you back on that first night after the diner if you wanted to hear about it. I never felt like I had to hide it from you. I don’t know why because only Bill and Bev really know everything but with you… I trusted you. Even then I felt like I could tell you.”

Eddie didn’t really know what to do with that information.

“I’m not ashamed of the scars, Eds. I see them the same way I see my pill bottles or-or my NA chips.”

Richie paused at that and it was a good thing because Eddie had to really process it in his head. NA. He knew what that was. Narcotics Anonymous. Another piece of the puzzle that was Richie Tozier.

“Rich…” he breathed.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Richie said, reaching out to brush his thumb over Eddie’s trembling lower lip. “I look at it all and I know how far I’ve come.”

Eddie swallowed and nodded, trying not to let his emotions overwhelm him right now.

“So why did you pull away?” he asked, leaning his head into Richie’s hand.

Richie didn’t say anything for a long moment.

“That dream I had,” he said, looking away from Eddie. “I couldn’t… I couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t look at you knowing that I could hurt you like that.”

Eddie shook his head, moving closer to Richie.

“You didn’t,” he breathed out, clasping Richie’s hands in his. “Richie, you would never hurt me.”

“How do you know?” Richie demanded, looking at him again. “I don’t know that, so how could you?”

Eddie didn’t say anything at first, searching the other man’s eyes before remembering Richie’s words from the night at the diner.

“I can see your soul,” he whispered.

Richie looked at him with disbelief and desperation warring in his dark gaze. Eddie leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He kissed back but Eddie could still feel the hesitation there.

“You’re so good to me, Richie,” Eddie whispered, climbing into his lap. “You have been since the beginning. I was so scared and you were just what I needed. You knew how to touch me. How to hold me. How to make me laugh even though I thought that’s the last thing I’d be doing. I was okay because you were there.”

He pressed kisses along Richie’s cheeks and jaw as he spoke, stroking his fingers through his hair. Richie shuddered beneath him and pressed a hand to Eddie’s back, pulling him in closer with a sigh.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Richie said quietly.

“You never will,” Eddie said, confidence ringing in his voice. “You never will, Richie. I know it.”

Richie pulled away to look up into his eyes, his hand slipping beneath his shirt to stroke his fingers over the small of Eddie’s back.

“I want to tell you,” he said, looking more certain now. “I want you to understand, if that’s okay. I think… I think it’ll make it better.”

Eddie felt his words strike deep at him. Even though Richie told him like it wasn’t a big deal, it felt monumental. It showed just how much trust Richie had in him even after the last few weeks.

“Whatever you want,” Eddie said, nodding his head. “I’m here, Rich. I’m not going anywhere.”

Richie didn’t look too sure about that but he nodded anyway. When Eddie started to move out of his lap, he made a noise of protest and kept him in place.

“Please,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I-I need you right here.”

Eddie settled back, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m right here,” he repeated.

Richie nodded, looking away from him at the wall. If it made it easier that way, Eddie wouldn’t protest. He’d let Richie do what he needed.

“I, uh… I got into some shit when I was seventeen. It was mild stuff. Weed, you know? But I started hanging out with people who did the harder shit. They made it sound so good and it was. Fuck, Eds. Up until that point, I never felt better than when I was high. My dad didn’t give a shit about me and my mom… my mom didn’t want me. She wanted an easier kid and I was a troublemaker with a loud mouth and too many suspensions. So I got lost in that scene and I did more and more. I don’t even remember when I dropped out of school or left my parents’ house. I was living in a piece of shit apartment with four other people with the shirt on my back and that’s about it.”

Richie paused, licking his lips and shaking his head as if trying to shake off the effect of the memories.

“I got in over my head with a dealer. I owed him thousands and I had no way of getting out of that hole. I was pretty fucking desperate and that’s-that’s when a girl I was living with told me about the studio. I should have known but I was too high out of my head to realize what they were doing. They offered to pay off my debt as long as I worked for them for a while. I didn’t read the fucking contract, just signed it. I was desperate so I didn’t know that the debt didn’t go away. I just owed it to a different piece of shit but this guy was a producer. They kept me drugged up too. I wish I could tell you most of the shit they had me do but either I was too high or my head’s blocked it out. I used to switch out, I think, but I can't bottom anymore. I, uh... I kind of freeze up and everything goes dark when I try. I don't know why. I don't remember and I don't really want to. My debt was never gonna go away either. It just got bigger and bigger because of the drugs. I wanted to stop but I couldn’t. I thought I was gonna live and die in that place.”

Eddie fought the urge to hide his face away. It wasn’t fair for Richie and he would stop talking if Eddie did that. Tears still dripped down his cheeks with every broken, quiet word that Richie spoke. They were both crying, though Richie’s tears were far less than Eddie’s, as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to mourn for the person he was. As if he’d moved past it and healed a lot since it all happened. It made Eddie happy to think that but devastated to hear that he went through it at all.

“Then I found Bill,” Richie said, shifting a little bit in place.

He finally met Eddie’s eyes, as if some weight lifted off his shoulders as soon as he said Bill’s name. There was turmoil there but the hope and the healing look was stronger.

“Or he found me, I guess. But that’s a story for another day,” Richie said, reaching up to stroke his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “I don’t know why he did it. He already had a reputation for a good place and he gambled it on me. I told him to leave me to die but he didn’t. Instead he-”

Richie’s breath hitched and he stopped, closing his eyes for just a moment.

“He took one look at my scars and my track marks and paid off my debt. Every single goddamn penny of it,” he said, his voice trembling as he spoke. “And he got me out of there. I thought it was just another person looking to own me but he took me to a rehab facility and we sat in the parking lot for hours. Bill didn’t make me say anything. I just looked at the place and wondered why I was even there if I was… nothing. I thought I was nothing at all. But he told me that I didn’t owe him anything as far as he was concerned. That it was my life now and I could do what I wanted but that he knew I could be more than the assholes at the other studio let me believe. I decided to get clean. I walked into that place and haven’t touched anything since. Five years sober last month.”

Eddie felt overwhelmed with pride and love for Richie all at once. He didn’t know until that exact moment but now he was sure that he didn’t just like him. He loved him. Leaning in, he pressed a shaky kiss to his lips, their tears mingling as Richie returned it eagerly, kissing Eddie back for a long, emotional moment before pulling away.

“I never met someone like Bill who would take a chance on me,” he admitted, opening his eyes again to look into Eddie’s. “Until I met you.”

Eddie nodded, pressing his hands to Richie’s cheeks.

“I always will,” he said, touching his forehead to Richie’s. “ _God_ , Richie, you’re not nothing. You’re everything, you hear me? Every-fucking-thing.”

Richie inhaled sharply and held Eddie closer, keeping their foreheads pressed together.

“Eddie,” he whispered.

It was all that he needed to say. Eddie took a deep breath and pressed a brief kiss to his lips before pulling out of his arms. Richie looked up at him with concern and the slightest bit of panic in his eyes as he stood. But then Eddie held a hand out to him and Richie didn’t hesitate to take it, letting Eddie lead him back to the bedroom. They undressed each other silently, keeping their eyes locked together until every stitch of clothing was gone and there was nothing between them. Then Eddie sat back on the bed, tugging Richie with him until he was lying on his back.

Richie settled in the cradle of his hips as Eddie parted his thighs, wrapping his legs around his waist. With his hands buried in Richie’s hair, Eddie brought him down for a slow, gentle kiss. It was as tender as they came, with brushing lips and stroking tongues that brought nothing but a soft warmth to their bodies. They melded together and kissed for what felt like hours, relearning each other with a new awareness between them. Nothing could be taken for granted because they knew what it was like to be apart for too long.

Eddie felt his body humming with desire and need and _Richie_ when he pulled away and looked up into his eyes. His thumbs stroked over Richie’s cheeks and he arched his back when Richie rocked against him, making him shiver and moan before he pressed up for another kiss, this one more intense than before. Then Eddie was turning them over slowly, pushing Richie onto his back.

“I want you,” he said, running his fingers down Richie’s chest. “I want you inside me, Rich, please.”

Richie nodded quickly, his fingers stroking up Eddie’s side.

“Are you sure?” Eddie asked.

“Yes,” Richie breathed out, sounding more certain than ever. “But I don’t want to-”

“You won’t hurt me,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “It’ll be perfect. I promise it’ll be so good, baby.”

He reached over to the nightstand, pulling out the lube and a condom from where he knew they were.

“Do you want me to do it?” Eddie asked, holding up the lube.

Richie shook his head.

“I like this part,” he said with a bit of a mischievous smile.

“I know you do,” Eddie said, smiling in return.

He started to turn to his hands and knees but Richie stopped him.

“I want to look at you,” he said, maneuvering Eddie gently to his back.

Eddie nodded and made himself comfortable, pushing a pillow beneath his hips to raise them just a little bit so that it was easier. Richie looked a little bit nervous for the first time that they’d done this as he poured lube out onto his fingers and rubbed them together to warm it.

“Let me know if you want to stop,” Eddie told him.

“Let me know if _you_ want to,” Richie said in return.

“Brat,” Eddie said with a small laugh.

It brought another smile to Richie’s face so it was worth it. Eddie couldn’t help but moan and shiver when Richie’s finger pressed to his hole, stroking there just how he liked. Instinct took over and Richie knew just how to touch him all over again, driving him crazy with every teasing stroke and dip of his finger. Eddie rocked his hips and thrusted down onto his fingers as he added one more, then two, working him open, scissoring and curling until he found the sweet spot within him and rubbed at it in slow circles just enough to turn Eddie into a sobbing, desperate mess beneath him. When he pulled his fingers out, Eddie stopped him before he could reach for the lube or condom.

“Trust me,” he said, pushing Richie onto his back again.

Eddie waited for Richie’s nod before moving. He tore the foil packet open and rolled it onto Richie’s cock before slicking it up. Then he slowly straddled his hips and braced his hands on Richie’s chest as he rubbed his ass against his cock.

“You have a place for me here, right?” he breathed out, grinning down at him.

Richie laughed at that, tension bleeding away as his body shook with laughter beneath Eddie.

“Always,” he said, his hands falling to Eddie’s hips.

“Good.”

Eddie reached down, guiding him until he was pressing down. Inch-by-inch, Richie filled him slowly as they both sighed and moaned at the feeling. It was a bit much after a few weeks of nothing but Eddie enjoyed the slight burn and stretch, feeling knitted together by the feeling of Richie and how he fit so perfectly. He rocked his hips slowly, tilting his head back. It didn’t take long for Richie to reach out, lacing his fingers through Eddie’s to press their palms together and give him something to hold onto. It was everything.

“So good,” Eddie sighed out, looking down at Richie. “You feel that, Rich? How perfect it is? We fit together, yeah? Just how it’s supposed to be.”

His words came out with a breathless edge as he twisted and rocked and lifted himself up before sinking back down. Eddie was focused completely on Richie, watching his face for every change in expression and every noise he made.

“It’s so fucking good, baby,” Richie said, guiding Eddie with his hands on his hips. “You feel perfect, so tight and warm and… _fuck_ Eds it’s so goddamn good.”

Eddie nodded, moving a little quicker. It felt different like this. Something had changed between them. It wasn’t fucking. It wasn’t chasing orgasms. It was pure intimacy and getting as close as possible. Richie pushed up to sit, kissing Eddie deeply as they both moved together, thrusting and rocking and grinding as they drew closer and closer. It wasn’t like before. It was better. It was wholeness and perfection. It was _making love_. Eddie cried out when Richie’s hips surged upwards and the tip of his cock brushed his prostate.

Richie made sure to hit that angle every time, making him whimper and moan and sob out his name as he felt his body growing hotter and tighter and more and more tense. Eddie stroked at his cock desperately, tossing his head back with a shout as he came in hot stripes over his and Richie’s stomach. Richie continued thrusting up into him, holding Eddie’s hips still as he turned them over and laid him on his back. Eddie pressed kisses over Richie’s skin and placed his palm right over that scar on his back. Richie may not remember how he got it but Eddie would make damn sure it never caused him pain again.

“Fuck...Eds...baby...fuck...you’re...so...fuck...good…”

Richie came with a long moan, kissing Eddie deeply as he rode it out until he was too sensitive. They stayed like that for a long time, sweaty bodies pressed close to one another as they kissed just like they had at the beginning. Slowly. Deeply. Pouring themselves into the embrace. Then Richie slowly pulled out and disposed of the condom before coming back with a cloth to wash them both off. Eddie rested his head on Richie’s chest once they were done, letting the sound of his heartbeat fill his senses as their bodies cooled and relaxed into a languid calm state. He never felt more perfect than in this moment, with Richie’s arms around him and his body pressed so close. It was everything. It was all that Eddie needed. Right here and now with this man.

“I love you.”

He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The sun shone during the day and the moon came out at night. The grass was green. The stars were endless. Eddie Kaspbrak loved Richie Tozier. It was as simple as that. Yet Richie’s breath caught in his throat and he stilled, whispering out Eddie’s name as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

“I do, Rich,” Eddie told him, lifting his head to look down at him. “I love you.’

Richie stared up at him with wonder and the slightest bit of skepticism.

“I don’t… I didnt think anyone ever could or even would,” he said, reaching up to brush his thumb over Eddie’s jaw.

“Well I do,” Eddie said, stroking his fingers over Richie’s chest just above his heart. “And I’ll say it as many times as you need to believe it and I’ll say it a thousand thousand times after that.”

Richie grinned up at him, tears filling his eyes yet again but for an entirely different reason.

“I love you too, Spaghetti Man,” he said.

Eddie scoffed, shaking his head.

“You fucking-”

He didn’t get to finish it out because Richie was surging up to kiss him, pouring every bit of love and affection he had for Eddie into the kiss only to get the same in return. When he pulled away, brushing his lips over Eddie’s once more, he whispered it again.

“I love you,” Richie said.

“I love you,” Eddie told him.

And that was that.

**Author's Note:**

> I would absolutely adore hearing what you think. Seriously tell me everything. I need your thoughts.
> 
> Songs that Richie sings are;  
> I Can't Tell You Why - The Eagles  
> Hotel California - The Eagles  
> Wheel in the Sky - Journey


End file.
